relationships

Taking Responsibility for Your Happiness

Why you shouldn’t over-rely on your partner to make you happy. When we’re single, we’re constantly making decisions in pursuit of happiness: where to go, who to date, what friends to seek out, what activities to try. We don’t always make the right decisions, but we, at least, tend to take responsibility for them. When… Read more »

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Being Vulnerable to Love

3 suggestions to help you be vulnerable. Being vulnerable is a popular topic of conversation these days. In fact, at this time, Brene Brown’s TED talk “The Power of Vulnerability” has had more than 53 million views. In spite of all the talk and of how much we may want to be vulnerable, especially in… Read more »

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Staying in Love While Staying Yourself

A lot of couples talk to me about their struggles to stay close to each other in a way that feels vital and intimate. At the same time, they may also complain about a feeling of sacrifice or a way they’re having to compromise and give up certain aspects of themselves to be in the… Read more »

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3 Ways to Tell You’re Afraid of Intimacy

While most of us say we want love, pretty much all of us have some degree of fear around intimacy. The type and extent of this fear can vary based on our personal history: the attachment patterns we developed and the psychological defenses we formed to protect ourselves from early hurts. These patterns and defenses… Read more »

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How to Go “All In” in a Relationship (Without Losing Yourself)

As a therapist, I spend a good amount of time exploring the push and pull that occurs in relationships. For example, between couples, a lot of friction occurs when one person is wanting more closeness, while the other is seeking more space. With individuals, I observe many people who say they want love and intimacy,… Read more »

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Ways to Improve Your Relationship While Sheltering at Home

Just as it has with pretty much everything else in our lives, Covid-19 has had a significant impact on our relationships. Pair the novelty of the situation with the increased uncertainty and stress of coping with a global pandemic, and what we’ll find is that most couples are facing new strains on their relationship that are making life at home all… Read more »

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Experts at Home: Dr. Pat Love on Relationships During the Time of Covid-19

  In our first Experts at Home conversation, Dr. Lisa Firestone interviews relationship expert Dr. Pat Love. They discuss common relationship challenges in the time of Covid-19 and how couples can use this challenging time as an opportunity for growth. You can download the questions for connecting exercise Dr. Pat Love mentions in the interview… Read more »

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6 Reasons you should NEVER Compare your Relationships

“I wish my husband was like my ex. He was so much more affectionate!” “If my wife were like _____ I would never feel bored in bed.” If these sentiments sound familiar, your relationship may be on the fast track to disaster! There is an old saying that goes “Comparison is the thief of joy.”… Read more »

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3 Steps to Sustaining a Loving Relationship

A good relationship is all about connection, not just the one we feel when we first fall for someone, but the one we shape over time as we learn to share our lives with another person. For most couples, struggles tend to exist in the spaces where partners have either drifted apart or become fused… Read more »

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How to Beat Boredom in Your Relationship: Drop into the Plane of Possibility

Relationships are naturally full of highs and lows, but perhaps the thing couples complain about the most are the lulls. Boredom is often viewed as a destructive, yet inevitable, force in long-term relationships. One study even found that the most common way for that people describe their romantic relationships was “dull.” Most of us don’t… Read more »

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