The short answer is: yes! Hating yourself puts you directly at odds with someone who loves you. You each have diametrically opposed points of view about you: your’s being negative and your partner’s being positive. So what can you do to resolve this dilemma? And why does this dilemma exist in the first place? Let’s… Read more »
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The attachment patterns we experienced as children impact us in powerful ways throughout our lives. Understanding our attachments to our parents or other influential caretakers can offer us incredible insight into why we live our lives today the way we do, and particularly, how we operate in our relationships. Our earliest relationships served as models… Read more »
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In the intimate quarters of a romantic relationship, the reactivity between couples can be electric, the slightest jolt from one person sending the other into sparks. As emotional beings armed with complicated attachment histories, we key off each other in complex ways. The chronic lateness of our partner can cause us to feel wounded and vengeful…. Read more »
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Why is it that we fight the most with those we love the most? Is it just because we’re two people with two completely separate minds spending so much time together that we’re bound to not see eye to eye once in a while? Or, is it something more profound, something deeper? Unfortunately, it’s usually… Read more »
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Rejection is an almost unavoidable aspect of being human. No one has ever succeeded in love or in life without first facing rejection. We all experience it, and yet, those times when we do are often the times we feel the most alone and outcast. So much of the hurt and struggle we endure when… Read more »
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Good communication skills are the keys to any successful relationship because relationships are emotional and rely on interpersonal verbal and nonverbal exchanges between the two people involved. Most marriages start out with the idea of success not realizing the number one cause of divorce is bad communication. In cases of parenting and co-parenting, communication is… Read more »
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A few years ago, I was talking to my friend and colleague Dr. Daniel Siegel, a leader in the field of interpersonal neurobiology. We were discussing how and why people find themselves stuck in certain relationship patterns. Dr. Siegel explained that our brains are actually wired to recreate conditions from our past. Our early experiences… Read more »
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There’s a nasty defense mechanism that undermines and sabotages your efforts to have love in your life: your critical inner voice. It comes at you from all sides; it goes after you, it badmouths your partner, it slams your relationship, and it attacks love in general. We are mostly unaware of this internal enemy and… Read more »
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Conflict between a couple can often feel convoluted and layered in ways that are hard to make sense of. But, there is one dynamic that may be a bit easier to wrap our heads around. Very often, couples get into trouble when one person takes the role of a parent, and the other, the role of… Read more »
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Over the past 30 years of working as a psychologist doing individual and group therapy, I have often seen men struggling to maintain either the romance or friendship or both in their intimate relationships. It’s a subject I’ve been investigating and exploring for much of my professional and personal life. I’ve often noticed my men… Read more »
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