Validation is a way of letting someone know we understand him or her. Being understood is an essential ingredient to feeling connected and supported. When someone important to us understands us, their hearing us helps us to tune into ourselves and accept our emotions as real and meaningful. This ultimately supports the growth of self-compassion… Read more »
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The time of year has come when high school seniors are starting to receive letters from colleges. The brief breath of relief of mailing in their final application has given way to the held breath of waiting to hear back from schools. This moment of anticipation is one of the most stressful times in a… Read more »
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This is the first in a series of blogs describing my theoretical approach known as Separation Theory. It represents an integration of psychoanalytic and existential systems of thought and describes how early interpersonal pain and separation anxiety and, later, death anxiety, lead to the formation of powerful psychological defenses. The primary defense is the fantasy… Read more »
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When we are little, our needs get expressed through our strong emotions. A baby doesn’t have the capacity to get food when hungry, a blanket when cold or a change of a wet diaper. Instead, they fuss! They muster the voice of the “mad monster” to get the attention they need, whaling and whimpering. This… Read more »
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When people are asked what they most value and cherish, the overwhelming majority say the same thing: their family. Parents are deeply committed to doing what is best for their children but, at the same time, may lack the knowledge or skills to do so. This can be particularly challenging when parenting bright, spirited, strong-willed… Read more »
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The majority of psychologists, researchers and parenting experts have come to the same conclusion: spanking and other forms of physical discipline can pose serious risks to children. The American Psychological Association discourages any form of physical punishment, seeing it as both harmful and unnecessary. Thirty countries in the world have banned physical punishment of children,… Read more »
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Social media is a relatively new experience for the human psyche. With social networks becoming more ingrained in people’s lives each year and each generation, it is vital that we understand the full impact each social network has on our mental health. A new report, #StatusOfMind, published by the Royal Society for Public Health in… Read more »
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Parents often exclaim that they are so proud of their children. “She got into Harvard.” “He got the highest SAT scores.” “She is the most brilliant musician.” “He is the captain of the football team.” Parents particularly express pride in their kids when they demonstrate a talent or quality that the parent values. And while we all want parents… Read more »
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So, its dinner time and you’ve been logging in hours at the stove preparing what you thought was your daughter’s favorite meal; mashed potatoes, steak, and green beans. She has always loved this meal. Ever since she was very young, her favorite food has been mashed potatoes. But this night is different, just like most… Read more »
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When I first met Rikki in the parking lot of a Motel 6, she effortlessly captured my heart. I had actually started to care about her even before that first meeting. As a Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) volunteer preparing for my first case, I had read Rikki’s file. I knew she was 10, she… Read more »
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