What’s the most important characteristic in a lifetime relationship partner? A recent study in the U.K. researched this question. At the University of Swansea, researchers enlisted 2,700 college students from five countries to progressively narrow down which characteristics were most important to them in a lifetime mate. And the one that emerged from all cultures… Read more »
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These 7 ways we over-rely on our partner can seriously hurt our relationship. When a couple comes to therapy, they tend to each arrive with a laundry list of complaints about the other. While neither person may claim to be perfect themselves, they find it much easier to talk about their partner. “She never picks… Read more »
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It’s perfectly normal to have times when you feel more or less in love with your partner. Yet, it’s painful to have lulls in a relationship that leave you feeling hopeless or questioning its future. At these times, even if you have lists of issues you know are causing problems with your partner, it can… Read more »
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A few years ago, I was talking to my friend and colleague Dr. Daniel Siegel, a leader in the field of interpersonal neurobiology. We were discussing how and why people find themselves stuck in certain relationship patterns. Dr. Siegel explained that our brains are actually wired to recreate conditions from our past. Our early experiences… Read more »
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Do you ever find yourself longing for your partner, wishing you could feel more connected, even when you’re both in the same place? Or, have you ever caught yourself fantasizing about taking a break from your relationship, wishing you could just slip away for a while? In most relationships, one partner has more desire for closeness,… Read more »
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“I, Take you, To be my (wife/husband); To have and to hold, From this day forward, For better, for worse, For richer, for poorer, In sickness and in health, To love and to cherish, As long as we both shall live.” Once the marriage vows have been exchanged, once the gifts are opened, the monogrammed… Read more »
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The peak season for “I do’s” is upon us, and if you’re among the excited couples about to walk down the aisle, you’re probably getting advice from all directions. Everyone from grandparents to groomsmen, coworkers to caterers are lining up to offer up suggestions for every detail of your big day. While planning your wedding… Read more »
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In my 25 years as a therapist, I’ve worked with countless couples facing a broad spectrum of challenges. Yet, despite the diversity between them in age, occupation, or origin, I’m amazed at the similarities in the patterns and pitfalls that couples fall into. When two people walk into my office and start discussing their relationship,… Read more »
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Strong communication is often said to be at the core of a solid relationship. But for communication to exist, these qualities must not. It’s sensible to imagine that when two people truly like each other, they’re willing to listen to each other’s struggles and stories, and respond with interest and compassion. But, very often, other… Read more »
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A Relationship Is A Creative Work Dr. Carol Gilligan: It’s like, if you do any creative work, you have to be willing to fail because creative work means you’re walking off the edge of a cliff. You don’t know what you’re going to do. And we’re a society that has a very low tolerance of… Read more »
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