This month, I’ve been working on creating a whiteboard explaining the fantasy bond and I’ve come to realize that it is a complex concept to get across in only a few words and with simple drawings. A while ago, I did a whiteboard about the critical inner voice, which was also challenging to describe. What… Read more »
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In this blog, I am excited to share the introduction and conclusion from my new book, Challenging the Fantasy Bond. I hope you find it interesting and enjoy reading it. The Fantasy Bond The early version of my theoretical approach set forth in The Fantasy Bond was primarily intended for psychologists, psychiatrists and others in… Read more »
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The relationship we have with our parents or primary caretakers is almost never black or white. Some of us may be more inclined to idealize our parents, while others may feel especially zoomed in on their shortcomings. Most of us are guilty of both. As adults, we’re often better able to see that our parents… Read more »
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John Irving’s latest novel, In One Person, is a timely statement about men and women, the nature of sexuality, and society’s assault on the self. Although a work of fiction, the book faithfully reports the real-life struggles of certain people to become who they were destined to be; people different from the rest of us,… Read more »
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When we are triggered emotionally, it can all feel sort of choiceless; like we have lost control of ourselves. Even if we have the awareness of our reaction, it is difficult to stop our emotional response, because the nervous system, the brain, the memory centers are all interacting. Our learned style of relating Most often… Read more »
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From sitting them in corners to sending to their rooms, from saying to “say sorry” to giving a time out, the methods are all different but the question is the same: What is really the best way to discipline a child? Disciplining our children is one of parenting’s least appealing tasks. Unless you intended to… Read more »
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One of the biggest challenges for us as parents is remembering that our children are not us. In spite of the fact that they came from us, that they share our genetic makeup, and that they are shaped by the emotional environment that we are raising them in, they are not us. Our children are… Read more »
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Dealing with your kids’ tantrums and mood swings can be one of parenting’s most frustrating challenges. From public meltdowns to prolonged fits, these extreme outbursts of emotion have the capacity to provoke extreme reactions in us. Methods that are effective in dealing with the child’s natural expressions of anger or frustration don’t work in this… Read more »
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Lifestyle changes begin with setting Intention. If you don’t have an intention, it easy to lose commitment to action. Intention is not a goal but an overarching frame for the “why” of doing something. For example, someone might have a goal of losing weight, but an overarching intention of feeling well, with more vitality for… Read more »
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The phrase is emblazoned on holiday cards, ornaments and light displays: Peace On Earth. It is a noble wish, to be sure, the value of which few, if any, would dispute. (You never quite know what’s rattling around in those terrorist’s brains, so I suppose it’s best to leave a margin of error.) Certainly the… Read more »
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