Childhood is a critical time for discovering and enhancing the secure attachment ideally built in the early years of a parental relationship with a child. Our earliest relationships do a great deal to establish our sense of self and wellbeing. Knowing, “I matter, my needs matter, and my loved ones will help keep me safe”… Read more »
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Our first relationships profoundly shape how we connect with others. A baby’s earliest lessons teach whether to depend on an important person for comfort and acceptance, or whether to expect distress, disconnection or shame. An infant begins life learning if important people can be good sources of comfort and safety. A baby may learn that… Read more »
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A while back when recording a podcast, my team at PsychAlive and I asked a random group of people if they considered themselves the pursuer or the distancer in their relationship? In other words, did they see themselves as the one who’s usually wanting more closeness and intimacy or the one who typically needs more… Read more »
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As I observe my single friends and family members navigating the dating world and looking for love, I keep hearing the same question: Why do I always end up in the same kind of relationship? “I started out feeling optimistic about this relationship, but then things fell apart like they always do, and the relationship… Read more »
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The attachment patterns we experienced as children impact us in powerful ways throughout our lives. Understanding our attachments to our parents or other influential caretakers can offer us incredible insight into why we live our lives today the way we do, and particularly, how we operate in our relationships. Our earliest relationships served as models… Read more »
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Most of us have someone in our lives who comes to mind when we are asked if we know a narcissist. Perhaps, the person we think of can’t stop praising themselves, treats others as inferior, or seems unaffected by anyone else’s feelings and opinions. Or maybe, the person we think of is someone who always… Read more »
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Many people grow up with fears around abandonment. Some are plagued by these fears pretty consistently throughout their lives. They worry they’ll be rejected by peers, partners, schools, companies, or entire social circles. For many others, these fears aren’t fully realized until they enter into a romantic relationship. Things will be going along smoothly, and… Read more »
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Nothing feels more like a fresh start more than becoming a parent. When a child is born, the future is one vast, clean slate riding on a sea of our finest hopes, dreams, and intentions. Yet, pretty much every parent quickly learns that the sea is much rockier than anticipated. This is not just because of… Read more »
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One mother’s journey through the science of attachment theory. The stage is set: a room with two chairs and some toys on the floor. A mother and her 1-year-old baby enter and begin the Strange Situation, a 20-minute, eight-episode laboratory experiment to measure “attachment” between infants and their caregivers. Through a one-way mirror, researchers observe… Read more »
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Most of us wouldn’t use the word trauma when telling our story. We may associate trauma with natural disaster, disease, war, loss or other extreme acts of violence. Unless we’ve suffered sexual or physical abuse, or even if we have, we may tell ourselves that there was no “trauma” in our early life. Yet, a… Read more »
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