…f my family and friends, understanding the brilliant and necessary work of Robert Firestone and most recently, delving into Earnest Becker’s book The Denial of Death, I have come to fully appreciate, and have more compassion for, the horrific truth we as humans face. From the moment we are brought into this world, we instinctively do what we have to in order to survive physically and emotionally. Like the fences we build around our homes and our c…
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…e in, what psychologist and Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships author, Robert Firestone calls a “fantasy bond.” A fantasy bond replaces real acts of love and affection toward your partner with an illusion of connection. In a fantasy bond, a couple may operate as a unit, seeing themselves as safely joined, yet their relating becomes a matter of form and routine. No longer do they show much passion, love or respect for each other. Instead, they…
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…directed and positive. However, part of us, a part my father psychologist Robert Firestone refers to as the “anti-self,” is against us. The anti-self is like an internal enemy that resides in our minds. It speaks to us through a series of self-critical, self-denying or even self-soothing thoughts known as the “critical inner voice.” The purpose of this inner voice is to hold us back from what we want and to keep us in our place, so to speak. The…
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…y and therapy technique developed by my father psychologist and author Dr. Robert Firestone. It is the basis of a book we co-authored titled Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice and the subject of many of my lectures, Webinars and my upcoming six-week eCourse “Overcome Your Inner Critic.” Why I have invested so much of my time and work into this subject is because what I have found in my 30 years of research and clinical practice is that, in almost a…
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…rapy, a cognitive/affective/ behavioral methodology developed by my father Robert Firestone, Ph.D. The five steps of Voice Therapy target a person’s inner critic or critical inner voice. This “voice” represents a vicious anti-self that is formed out of negative early life experiences. The anti-self can fuel depression, leading people to experience a cycle of self-criticism and a feeling of worthlessness. The steps of Voice Therapy, involve: Step I…
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…tuates a negative thought process, which my father psychologist and author Robert Firestone refers to as the critical inner voice. Watch a Whiteboard Video on The Critical Inner Voice The critical inner voice is formed out of painful early life experiences in which we witnessed or experienced hurtful attitudes toward us or those close to us. As we grow up, we unconsciously adopt and integrate this pattern of destructive thoughts toward ourselves a…
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…our Inner Critic In their research, father and daughter psychologists Drs. Robert and Lisa Firestone found that the most common negative thought people have toward themselves is that they are “different from other people.” These self-limiting beliefs can keep you stuck in a cycle of loneliness. Your critical inner voices try to keep you from challenging yourself to step outside your comfort zone, then stab you in the back for avoiding taking actio…
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…n innovative approach to differentiation, a four-step process developed by Robert Firestone, Ph.D. involving: 1. Breaking with internalized thought processes, critical attitudes toward self & others. 2. Altering the negative personality traits in oneself that represent an incorporation of aversive traits of one’s parents 3. Identifying/relinquishing patterns of defense formed as an adaptation to painful events in childhood. 4. Developing one’s own…
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…red into a “Fantasy Bond,” a term developed by psychologist and author Dr. Robert Firestone to describe an illusion of connection created between two people that helps alleviate their individual fears by forging a false sense of connection. A fantasy bond is toxic to a relationship because it replaces real feelings of love and support with a desire to fuse identities and operate as a unit. As the couple relates as a “we” instead of a “you” and “me…
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…rson… Learn More 3) Fear of Intimacy As my father, psychologist and author Robert Firestone, wrote in his article “You Don’t Want What You Say You Want,” “Most of us profess that we want to find a loving partner, but the experience of real love disrupts fantasies of love that have served as a survival mechanism since early childhood… Pushing away and punishing the beloved acts to preserve one’s negative self-image and reduces anxiety.” Our fears s…
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