Search Results for: lisa firestone/feed/2009/11/fear-of-intimacy

Creating a Life of Meaning and Compassion: Part 2

…inty, it is difficult to be inspired to take an interest in ourselves. The fear and challenges of today throw us into survival mode and leave us defended and disconnected from our feelings. The previous blog opened a discussion about using this period of time creatively and constructively for self-development. It reviewed goals and qualities toward that pursuit that were outlined in Creating a Life of Meaning and Compassion written by my husband,…

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Accepting “Good Enough” Friends and Partners

…uation remind me of anything?” “Is there something deeper I’m feeling like fear, hurt or sadness?” “What might help me calm down and feel more myself?” 4. Show Appreciation When we get too focused on the negative, we should try to step back and look at the bigger picture. Is this thing I’m critical about representative of the way I really feel toward this person? It’s a real gift to ourselves to take some time to connect with our own feelings of a…

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Why It’s Okay to Feel Bad About Certain Things

…acted the way we did in the first place. We may realize that a feeling of fear, anger, or shame was triggered inside us that caused us to lash out or react in some way that didn’t serve us. Accepting these feelings and allowing them to pass through us is an important part of growth. 3. Keep your inner critic in check It’s one thing to be willing to face our shortcomings and experience our feelings in an effort to better understand ourselves. It’s…

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How to Help Yourself if You’re on a Waiting List for Therapy

…iting our activities and contact with others has led to so much talk about fear, loneliness, disconnection, and mental health. These experiences have made people notice their needs and feel more comfortable seeking help. More people now seek therapy For some, actually getting help has been easier, because they could reach out from their living rooms and receive virtual therapy. Yet for others, it has been harder, because they didn’t have the priva…

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Making Sense of Your Covid Story

…matters to me? Were there instances that caused me overwhelming sadness or fear? Were there experiences that connected me to feelings of awe or joy?” When we make sense of our past, we empower ourselves to peel away layers that no longer serve us and, therefore, have more awareness to shape our future. In this way, creating a coherent narrative can help strengthen our resilience rather than defaulting to defenses from our past. It can also help co…

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Are You Sabotaging Yourself?

…allow ourselves to feel the primary emotions of sadness, shame, anger, or fear in order to feel free in our adult lives. These are all feelings that would have been overwhelming to our infant selves, but that we, as adults, can now tolerate. By breaking a destructive sense of identity, we can start to learn new ways of behaving and relating that are more in sync with who we really are and what we really want. We can halt our self-sabotaging behav…

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Five Forces That Destroy Relationships

…ay be walking on eggshells or constantly needing to watch what you say for fear your partner will blow up. You may be exhausted from the arguments and live with a growing suspicion that what you are arguing about is not what you are arguing about; that the issues may be greater than the petty topics you chew on. You may realize something is threatening your love, but you can’t quite identify it. You may have a desire to understand what went wrong…

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A Life Separate

…ty, for getting it wrong sometimes. A low tolerance for decisions based on fear, seemingly reasonable at the time and ludicrous in hindsight. Messy, human attempts at life. When I do remember my blessed separateness, all of a sudden I have options. I am vulnerable. I feel easier in my imperfection. I am tender toward my loved ones’ imperfections. I am gentle toward the bleakness of some realities. Some of the decisions I have made are the polar op…

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7 Practices to Keep Calm in the Face of Uncertainty

…erwhelming when we’re attempting to bottle our deeper feelings of sadness, fear, or anger. Take a time out to simply sit with whatever you’re feeling. Allow yourself to cry, shout, or express whatever core emotions may be stirring beneath the surface. When we give ourselves the space to fully feel a primary emotion, the feeling tends to pass through us like a wave and leave us more calm and centered. Finding healthy, safe ways to connect to our fe…

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It’s Time for a Hero Story

…t is fair and what is just. We can’t even answer with assuredness the most fearful questions of Will I be OK? Will you die? We have never really been able to guarantee the future. While there have been times of greater predictability, this is not one of them. Instead, the sense of uncertainty is high and its presence is felt by us individuals and in our relationships. As adults we can reach out to others and share our concerns, give and receive su…

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