Search Results for: lisa firestone/feed/2009/11/fear-of-intimacy

10 Ways to Fight Loneliness While Sheltering at Home

…now or have lost someone who’s struggled with this disease. Many of us are fearful for ourselves and for our loved ones. And likely, all of us are missing the people we’re used to spending time with. While we may be telling ourselves to “keep calm and carry on” for fear of being overcome by emotion, we shouldn’t try to bury or avoid our sadness. Sadness can be a vital, primary emotion. Allowing ourselves to feel it fully can be like letting a wave…

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Changing the Way You See the World

…are so divided. Many years ago, my father, psychologist and author Robert Firestone, developed the “Division of the Mind,” to help explain how each of us is split between our “real self” and our “anti-self.” The temperament we came into the world with impacts both sides of this divide, but our earliest experience and the adaptations we made to them contribute a great deal to the nature and degree of this division in our personality. On one side,…

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How Meditation Is Linked to Better Mental Health

…he brain, which were detectable after people participated in an 8-week mindfulness training program. Theoretically, this would mean that meditation could improve cognitive faculties like learning, memory, and emotion regulation. It could even affect the amygdala, which processes fear, stress, and anxiety. Conclusion As the studies mentioned herein illustrate, meditation can improve mental health in many ways. No matter what additional trials and s…

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How To Create Healthy Boundaries That Work for You

…ting physical limits feel difficult. A hug that lasts too long can trigger fear or panic. Someone who stands too closes or intrudes when you’re talking can be very upsetting for a trauma survivor. Safe physical boundaries are essential in trauma treatment and recovery. What can you do to feel more secure? Take the time you need to decide what would make you feel safer. For example: Say what you need: “Could you excuse us for a minute? I will come…

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Promotion for Emotions

…re of her decision. Based on her history, her value, her expectations, she fears whether she can have the autonomy she has known as a freelancer. She wonders if she can meet the company’s expectations. She feels a myriad of emotions that seem to be blocking her ability to decide in what direction to go. R1: Remember Jane notices what is going on right now in her body and mind and labels the most immediate emotion, in this case, fear. To label an e…

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How to Stop Being a Victim

…have experienced in response to frustration or stress is transformed into fear and distrust of others and into feelings of being hurt or wounded. People who become mired down in feeling victimized tend to view events in their lives as happening to them and feel ineffective and overwhelmed. They also operate on the basic assumption that the world should be fair, which is a child’s way of thinking. They tend to project the circumstances of their ea…

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Letting Go of Holiday Travel Stress

…May you feel safe and protected. May you be at ease. May you be free from fear. May you be happy.” It may be that you or a loved one are an anxious traveler, or you encounter a stressed-out stranger in your travels. This practice will help you and those around you. The fact is stress around travelling is more prevalent than we usually imagine. Just practice this as an experiment without expectation and see what you notice. Even holding the above…

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when to let a friend go

How You Know When To Let a Friend Go

…o the point where I was scared to be in a group setting with my friend for fear that she would bring up something embarrassing from the past, which became pretty normal. A healthy friendship consists of two people who build each other’s confidence by speaking of their amazing attributes, rather than breaking one another down by public humiliation. Judgment, blame, and a lack of trust are three of the most prominent characteristics of an unhealthy…

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One Tool We Need After a Tragedy

…phe. It is designed to help people cope with the stress, shock, confusion, fear, feelings of hopelessness, grief, anger, guilt, and withdrawal that arise. Perhaps the most important element of PFA is being a caring presence for a person impacted by a traumatic event. The principle actions of PFA are to help establish a sense of safety, security, and connection, restorative resources, foster adaptive short and long-term coping, and enhance natural…

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How Emotions Guide Our Lives

…he embarrassment overpowering our sadness, or the anxiety masking a deeper fear. For example, if our partner doesn’t show up for us or lets us down in some way, we may feel righteous and enraged. We may stonewall or erupt in our next interaction with him or her. However, if we look at our initial reaction, our primary emotion, we may recognize that we had more vulnerable feelings, such as feeling hurt, unwanted, or ashamed. These primary feelings…

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