Search Results for: lisa firestone/feed/2009/11/fear-of-intimacy

Finding Purpose in a World “On Hold”

…ee time” allotted to us from the Coronavirus. The lack of personal agency, fear for personal health and that our friends, family, and neighbors, has created a new, ominous, feeling to this “free time;” it contradicts its usual connotation of relaxation. Anxiety and depression, among many other mental disorders, are legitimate hurdles in everyday life, and the remarkable state of the current world has only made coping with our forced “free-time” ex…

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parents losing identity lockdown

Parents: Are You Losing Your Identity During Lockdown?

…not alone in our suffering. We can feel for ourselves, our sadness and our fear without feeling victimized or like we are all alone in our pain. People who have lost loved ones to Covid-19 know that the steps we take to keep one another safe are worth any amount of sacrifice. Yet it’s still okay to acknowledge that the losses we face extend into many areas of our lives. The time we miss with our friends don’t just connect us to them but to a part…

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excuses to stop making about sex

Are You Creating Your Own Nightmare in Your Relationship?

…household, he wound up feeling very much like he had as a child: cautious, fearful, and at fault for something he didn’t know he’d done. This type of re-creation based on selection happens in many relationships in large and small ways. A woman I worked with described being drawn to men who were “mysterious” and had a “faraway look in their eyes.” She felt compelled and attracted by their cool demeanor. However, when she started a relationship with…

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creating a life of meaning

Creating a Life of Meaning and Compassion: Part I

…cted. These current circumstances (with the psychological perfect storm of fear, isolation and uncertainty) can diminish optimism and make it more challenging to pursue a meaningful life. With these thoughts in mind, I began to reread Creating a Life of Meaning and Compassion written by my husband, Robert Firestone. In the first chapter, he discusses goals and qualities for creating a meaningful life. I found these suggestions to be helpful and he…

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Creating a Life of Meaning and Compassion: Part 2

…inty, it is difficult to be inspired to take an interest in ourselves. The fear and challenges of today throw us into survival mode and leave us defended and disconnected from our feelings. The previous blog opened a discussion about using this period of time creatively and constructively for self-development. It reviewed goals and qualities toward that pursuit that were outlined in Creating a Life of Meaning and Compassion written by my husband,…

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It’s Time for a Hero Story

…t is fair and what is just. We can’t even answer with assuredness the most fearful questions of Will I be OK? Will you die? We have never really been able to guarantee the future. While there have been times of greater predictability, this is not one of them. Instead, the sense of uncertainty is high and its presence is felt by us individuals and in our relationships. As adults we can reach out to others and share our concerns, give and receive su…

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7 Practices to Keep Calm in the Face of Uncertainty

…erwhelming when we’re attempting to bottle our deeper feelings of sadness, fear, or anger. Take a time out to simply sit with whatever you’re feeling. Allow yourself to cry, shout, or express whatever core emotions may be stirring beneath the surface. When we give ourselves the space to fully feel a primary emotion, the feeling tends to pass through us like a wave and leave us more calm and centered. Finding healthy, safe ways to connect to our fe…

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A Life Separate

…ty, for getting it wrong sometimes. A low tolerance for decisions based on fear, seemingly reasonable at the time and ludicrous in hindsight. Messy, human attempts at life. When I do remember my blessed separateness, all of a sudden I have options. I am vulnerable. I feel easier in my imperfection. I am tender toward my loved ones’ imperfections. I am gentle toward the bleakness of some realities. Some of the decisions I have made are the polar op…

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Five Forces That Destroy Relationships

…ay be walking on eggshells or constantly needing to watch what you say for fear your partner will blow up. You may be exhausted from the arguments and live with a growing suspicion that what you are arguing about is not what you are arguing about; that the issues may be greater than the petty topics you chew on. You may realize something is threatening your love, but you can’t quite identify it. You may have a desire to understand what went wrong…

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Making Sense of Your Covid Story

…matters to me? Were there instances that caused me overwhelming sadness or fear? Were there experiences that connected me to feelings of awe or joy?” When we make sense of our past, we empower ourselves to peel away layers that no longer serve us and, therefore, have more awareness to shape our future. In this way, creating a coherent narrative can help strengthen our resilience rather than defaulting to defenses from our past. It can also help co…

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