…someone and they don’t like you, well then on to the next one. There is no fear of failure because for every one or two rejections you get one or two matches. This is a game that you can keep playing until you win. However, this can lead you to feel as if potential partners are expendable. As you know that there are more people out there who you might be a match with. Why limit yourself to one match when you can have 10? Or why settle for one part…
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…ou choose to simply acknowledge that this is a tough moment, that there is fear or uncertainty in you. That’s OK, too. Sometimes it can be more helpful to sit with a negative emotion for a minute or two to see what’s causing it, to air it. Then you can choose your response – to let it be; to ask yourself what you can do about it; or to remind yourself of what’s positive instead. Tip 3: You’re enough Another trap we can fall into is of not being en…
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…mbing, but you probably will, as long as you stop a) being afraid, because fear is heavy; and b) trying to figure out how you’re going to do it. You don’t know how you will. Knowledge here is limiting. Push past what you think you know, and for heaven’s sake, get up that sh*t.” Thanks to that advice, I did manage to climb the rock in question. There’s great comfort in a space where all action is experiment: no givens, no set limits. The depth of c…
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…not what women experience during transitions; instead, old traumas and big fears surface. I bring this up, because so often traumas and fears can completely derail mature women getting ready to date. If this happens, it is important to find a professional well versed in working with trauma to help, because trauma does not go away by ignoring it. The good news is that if old traumas and big fears do surface, this provides an opportunity to start to…
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…d the almost unbearable beauty of life around us, along with its troubles… We can either be lost in a smaller state of consciousness — what in Buddhist psychology is called the ‘body of fear,’ which brings suffering to us and to others — or we can bring the quality of love and appreciation, which I would call gratitude, to life.”…
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…this process we may experience many emotions, such as sadness, confusion, fear, guilt, hopelessness and so much more. These feelings will vary in intensity according to the nature of the relationship, and ways in which we process our feelings. As for the lack of support you are experiencing, the recovery community is designed to be a place of refuge, growth, and connection without judgment. Do you feel like you had specific expectations and someo…
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…r things are good or things are bad…. You can motivate yourself not out of fear of being inadequate, but because you care about yourself.” Instead of condemning yourself, ask what you’re learning and what you can do to reach your goals, while taking care of you. How Self-Care Is Not Selfish Some people grow up with the idea that self-care is selfish. But taking care of yourself first is important, especially if you are dedicated to taking care of…
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…f. “My father’s method of upbringing had saddled me with a general load of fear, weakness and self-contempt.” As an adult, Kafka was haunted by his father’s hostile and impatient presence in his mind. The American writer and poet, Robert Bly, gave voice to similar sentiments in his poem, “My Father’s Wedding 1924”, “…his skin was bark-like then, made rough to repel the sympathy he longer for, refused, and didn’t need.” These descriptions are repre…
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…alized negative self-concept. It is understandable that most people have a fear of change, uncertainty, and the unfamiliar. It takes a good deal of courage to live without our customary defenses and the certainty of knowing who we are, even if the definition is negative. However, we have found that people can become accustomed to continual change; in the process, they become more interested in finding themselves rather than defining themselves in…
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…gn, as well as what his advisers and supporters have expressed, many of us fear that these rights will be stripped from us. Much of Trump’s conservative base has been questioning why these marches occurred, since the president just took office, but as I see it, it’s important to speak up now so that we move forward and not backward. Interestingly enough, there were many men who joined in the peaceful gatherings, and I think the overarching reason…
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