Search Results for: lisa firestone/feed/2009/11/fear-of-intimacy

Creating Order in an Upside-Down World

…the present, rather than getting lost in memories or being carried away by fears about the future. We now notice that what we formerly thought was essential drops away. Our priorities are now reshuffled. No longer rushed to get dinner on the table between scheduling demands, we have time to explore new recipes. Now is also a good time to add self-care into your routine. Exercise is known to help with management of stress, invaluable in such a chal…

Learn More

VIDEO: Dr. Allan Schore on the Physiological Impact of Dissociation

…egins. And these are hyper-arousal, which would be high amounts of extreme fear, terror, aggression, etc. And then we know that at a certain point in time that that is so overwhelming that ultimately the mechanism within the lower brain will just shut that down, so to speak, because the infant is overwhelmed beyond its own coping capacities and suddenly, the infant will dissociate. The infant now is literally gone and it’s moving then from hyper-a…

Learn More

The Dangers of Narcissistic Parents

…with the burden of being great or “the best.” They often grow up with the fear of disappointing their parent or the pressure to keep their parent happy, as opposed to vice versa. They carry a constant weight on their shoulders that can hold them back from truly reaching their full potential. The emptiness these children feel can manifest itself in the form of an inner critic or “critical inner voice” that reminds them they are not good enough or…

Learn More

How to Stop Being a Victim

…have experienced in response to frustration or stress is transformed into fear and distrust of others and into feelings of being hurt or wounded. People who become mired down in feeling victimized tend to view events in their lives as happening to them and feel ineffective and overwhelmed. They also operate on the basic assumption that the world should be fair, which is a child’s way of thinking. They tend to project the circumstances of their ea…

Learn More

The Polarized Mind: Humanity’s “Great Mistake”

…ical cultures that have embraced the mystery of our existence, rather than feared and denied it, and thus worked toward peace and empowerment rather than crushing domination. Among these cultures are the great philosophical (and nondogmatic religious) traditions of the West, the awe-based paths of the East, and the Arab Spring. In order to combat polarization, I offer steps to address it through what I call “awe based reformation,” based on accept…

Learn More

A Female Call To Arms! Be Yourself

…ing the make-up off for a day here-or-there, by not holding in our stomach fearing that some guy is looking, by surrendering to being our real selves, we open to the extremely heady feeling that women go wild for, a fortified female identity that tells a woman she is free to “just be” herself. You can’t get more Sex in the City self-confident than that. Acting in Stepford Wives kinds of ways by minimizing ourselves while going overboard to stroke…

Learn More

“I don’t know”, “I don’t remember”, “I didn’t do it” – Opportunities to Teach Responsibility

…“What happened?” if the tone strikes them as harsh, accusatory or if they fear the consequences. Often we as parents get strident in our tone, because we are scared (like when someone is hurt) or angry (like when something gets broken). After all, who volunteers to face an inquisition! Our first step is to manage safety and then to manage our tone. A neutral tone is more likely to invite a response than one that is fearful or critical. Once we ha…

Learn More

Living Vs. Reliving

…hers, we cannot have a genuine experience of them. This leads instead to a feedback loop – we respond emotionally, without questioning, to what we imagine the other’s intentionality to be, and we act toward the unwitting soul who engaged us as though our (perhaps skewed) perception were the truth. Accordingly, they then react to our reaction with denial, defensiveness, or responsive anger, thus closing the loop: We have been wronged, and the jerk…

Learn More

Preventing Teen Suicide

…de sometime during the past year. These statistics are alarming and arouse fear and concern in everyone. However, many suicides can be prevented if young people and those closest to them became familiar with and learn how to respond to the danger signs of a suicidal crisis, both in themselves and in their friends and family members. Parents, teens, friends and family, teachers, counselors, and survivors — people who have lost someone to suicide –…

Learn More

The Problem with Overpraising Children

…stop wanting to try. They may hold back, because they feel like a phony or fear that they will fail. 3. Life will be a disappointment Parents often make sacrifices in hopes of giving their children the best. Sometimes this is done to an extreme, and the parent’s life starts to center solely around the child. When we cater to a child’s every desire and treat them as royalty, we fail to reflect the real world they will enter as adults. Our willingne…

Learn More