…behavior. Don’t let it influence you to protect yourself and retreat from intimacy. You will probably feel anxious from challenging your old ways of defending yourself, but if you maintain your behavior and sweat it out, the voice attacks will subside. Your critical inner voice will become weaker and wither, and you will triumph. It’s so easy to lose track of romance. We get busy with the everyday tasks of our lives. Everything is going along wel…
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…of others. It creates more opportunities for personal growth and to create intimacy. Unsurprisingly, it strengthens our relationships. It even improves healthcare when doctors show more genuine interest in what their patients have to say. Perhaps one of curiositity’s greatest gifts is that it encourages us to have a more open attitude toward the world around us, which would naturally lead to more knowledge, understanding, connection, compassion, a…
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…easiest conversations, but this kind of openness creates a richer level of intimacy and a much more solid foundation for a relationship. The more we can see being vulnerable and true to ourselves as a thing of value, the more we can allow ourselves to be known by another person. When we let someone know us, we wind up being loved for who we really are. And after all, isn’t that what we’re after in a relationship in the first place? Breaking Free F…
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…understanding themselves and their relationship. In her presentation, Dr. Firestone illustrates how defenses formed to deal with pain and anxiety in childhood later come to limit people as adults in their ability to develop and sustain attachments. She shows how negative inner thoughts toward oneself and others interfere with intimacy in relationships and how couples can learn to challenge such negative thoughts in order to achieve greater closen…
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…stic. They have a stronger sense of themselves so they are capable of more intimacy, love and passion in their relationship. Here are some ways to stay yourself in a relationship: Maintain your interests. When two people fall in love, they experience themselves and each other as separate individuals with distinct identities, and their own ideas, interests and friends. Their individuality makes them interesting to each other. Maintain interests tha…
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…r family system all have an impact on how the couple functions. To rebuild intimacy in a strained partnership, specific training allows the therapist to help the couple interact more openly and safely and feel connected. There is no taking sides by the therapist. Each person needs to feel understood to build a more satisfying life together. The field of marriage and family therapy has changed much in recent years, so there are many possible models…
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…of vulnerability and openness that can actually lead to more closeness and intimacy. Be open to feedback – Just as we should be direct with our partner, we should be open to hearing honesty directed toward us. We should always be willing to listen to our partners and see things from their point of view. What are they trying to tell us about how they are experiencing us and feeling toward us? Rather than argue every small detail, we should look for…
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…satisfied or living with spouses in quiet desperation, experiencing little intimacy, passion, romance or sex. Enter the Johnsons, Melva and Jesse, a handsome baby-boomer couple with two grown sons, who appear to be the poster pair for the happy couple category. They are Royal Oak psychotherapists and relationship experts, offering couples therapy and workshops. Upon arriving at their office, it becomes clear they can’t keep their eyes off of each…
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…d say, “I’m not feeling close. The communication isn’t there. The sense of intimacy and agreement on how we deal with the kids isn’t there.” The husband says, “I think we’re doing fine in that area.” and then pick another area, be it finances, discipline, sex, that he believes. So they literally miss each other in terms of stages of change and then not surprisingly, blame the other rather than assuming responsibility themselves. LF: And what do yo…
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…s use in intimate contexts. And again, let’s remember with these patients, intimacy is terrifying. Right? It’s strange, it’s foreign, it’s terrifying, etc. So it’s that system, which again would heighten the idea that the inter-subjective, the relational, is central to the treatment. The ability to empathically resonate with someone else’s subjectivity is very different than giving another person advice or telling them what to do or how they shoul…
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