Search Results for: lisa firestone/feed/2009/11/fear-of-intimacy

Helping Someone with an Eating Disorder? …Follow the Research

…nt of choice for anorexia nervosa, parents are given the responsibility to feed their child using the sort of motivation that works in their unique family. (2) Parents are empowered to be in charge, to separate the illness from their child, to be direct about the food necessary for a return to health and to stay compassionate throughout the process. Siblings are placed in a position of support. In other types of treatments for children and adolesc…

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3 Questions that Can Change the Way You Feel About Sex

…“critical inner voice” that attacks their sexuality. This inner critic may feed them harsh thoughts toward themselves, their partner, or sex, in general. Some examples I’ve heard from men and women recently include: “You’re so ugly. No one would want to see you naked. Cover yourself up.” “Sex is gross. You should try not to think about it.” “He’ll think you’re a slut if you sleep with him.” Though it’s often critical, this inner voice can be trick…

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Violence, youth violence, PTSD

7 Ways to Stop Violence at Every Age

…ress. These men are then able to make reasonable decisions. They no longer feed their aggressive emotions with destructive thoughts toward others, which, in turn, stops them from committing acts of violence. Programs like Manalive have helped rehabilitate men who’ve been violent by teaching them to communicate and to “get in touch with their emotions and gain compassion and forgiveness for themselves and others.” On a societal and political level,…

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The Societal Obsession with Selfies (and What’s Wrong With It)

…asing their self-esteem on how many likes they have is a way for people to feed their ego. However, since people now have the ease of comparing themselves to those they idolize, social media is also feeding their feelings of inferiority. Self-esteem is a very broad term for how good or bad we feel about ourselves, and it can generally vary from situation to situation. For example, if you fail a test it may be upsetting, but ultimately a grade does…

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Addictions

…g ourselves by in effect saying, “I don’t need anything from anyone. I can feed myself!!” Even the anorexic person, in refusing to eat, is still saying “I will not take food from anybody, I don’t need anything from anybody, I control what goes in my body!!” Think about your eating habits. What function does food serve in your life? Could you be using food in an addictive way? 3. Addictions to activities or routines These types of activities are ha…

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Sibling Rivalry, brothers and sisters

Siblings: Retaliation or Sadistic Pleasure

…to their own hands with less constructive results. Another factor that may feed the sadistic and retaliatory behavior between siblings is when one of the siblings is very impulsive, demanding and intense and/or provocative. If one of the children, Johnny or Suzie, has difficulty managing their feelings and calming down, conflict management is significantly hampered. Similarly, if Suzie or Johnny can’t understand that the other person has rights an…

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ways to beat insecurity

Three Ways to Beat Your Insecurity

…cognitive/affective/behavioral approach developed by my father Dr. Robert Firestone to help people challenge this critical inner voice. There are five important steps to Voice Therapy. Step 1 Vocalize or write down your self-critical thoughts in the second person. For instance, instead of writing “I’m so stupid, ugly, worthless, boring,” you would write, “You’re so stupid, ugly, worthless, boring.” This process helps to separate these vicious voi…

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Gang Violence, Violence, gangs, teenage gangs, Father Greg Boyle, Homeboy Industries

Preventing Gang Violence: Why Kids Become Violent

…e suffering of the poor is shame and disgrace. It’s not their inability to feed their families or buy Pampers. It’s shame and disgrace. And so you have to reach in and dismantle those messages of shame and disgrace and replace them with the truth. And the truth is good. It’s always good. And so they have to redefine themselves. What happens here at Homeboy Industries, which is a therapeutic community really (is that) people get held. So they come…

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Understanding Compulsive Shopping

…hopping is seen as a coping mechanism many people use in response to their fears or death anxiety. There has also been a pattern of compulsive shoppers receiving presents instead of attention as a child. As an adult, this causes the addict to continue to feed his or her need for material praise, rather than seeking comfort from other people (Benson). In addition to being emotionally deprived as children, compulsive shoppers may also have experienc…

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Silencing the Troll Inside Your Head

…ll just waiting to pounce. This “critical inner voice” produces an endless feed of cruel comments on pretty much everything we do. It’s there to tell us we’re stupid, ugly, boring, awkward, incapable, unworthy, or whatever buzzword shakes us to our core. Our inner critic is particularly troublesome, because unlike trolls we encounter on social media, the one in our heads has the inside track on our vulnerabilities and self-doubts. Part of the reas…

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