…ou have to go back to say wait a minute, that’s not what feminism is. Lisa Firestone: Yeah, I think you have to define what patriarchy really is too in a way because I think that people think that patriarchy is just being, you know, men feeling like they’re in charge or you know— CG: Well you think of patriarchy, yes the sort of misunderstanding is [that it is] sort of men’s oppression of women, but, in fact, here’s where the psychological work is…
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…iewing, and assessing violent individuals, along with my father Dr. Robert Firestone, I began to recognize certain “voices” (negative thought processes) that flood the minds of these individuals influencing them to engage in acts of violence. These “voices” aren’t experienced as hallucinations but rather are a systematic pattern of negative thoughts against to the self, and hostile and suspicious toward others. We call these destructive thoughts “…
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…nt? In his upcoming and updated book, Challenging the Fantasy Bond, Robert Firestone discusses how we recreate the past in our current relationships. The concept of the fantasy bond, when applied to a couple relationship, demonstrates people’s compulsion to relive the past with new persons. The illusory connections they form invariably lead to a re-enactment of defensive styles of relating developed in childhood. In essence, people transform the d…
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…to be real people with them. In his latest book, Separation Theory, Robert Firestone writes that parental love “includes a willingness to be a real person with the child as opposed to acting the role of ‘mother’ or ‘father.’” Our children need us to step out from behind the role of Perfect Parent so they can see and know us as an authentic person. And they need to be related to by a genuine person to feel seen and real themselves. In Compassionate…
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…of “Voice Therapy,” developed by my father, psychologist and author Robert Firestone, involves putting your critical thoughts in the second-person (as “you” statements.) My friend tried this exercise herself with journaling. First, she wrote down her most shameful feelings in relation to herself as a parent. Rather than writing, “I am a terrible mother,” she wrote, “You are a terrible mother.” She proceeded with, “Your son will grow up hating you….
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…s to forego their individually—losing the “me” to become a “we.” As Robert Firestone explains it, “Perhaps the most significant sign that a fantasy bond has been formed is when one or both partners give up vital areas of personal interest, their unique points of view and opinions, their individuality, to become a unit, a whole. The attempt to find security in an illusion of merging with another leads to an insidious and progressive loss of identit…
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…timized or childish. In his blog, “Don’t Play the Victim Game,” Dr. Robert Firestone wrote “Maintaining a child victim role leads to chronic passivity.” It’s important not to be passive aggressive toward your loved ones. You shouldn’t punish them for not knowing instinctively what you want or for failing to read your mind. No one can expect any one person to meet all their needs. Rather, you should strive to feel like a whole person in yourself. O…
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…sh their goals. This approach to life represents what my father Dr. Robert Firestone has identified as being in an adult mode, in contrast to maintaining a childish stance or adopting a parental/ judgmental point of view. He sees these characteristics as essential elements to being an emotionally healthy individual. The idea that resilience is one of the primary keys to well-being is backed by Dr. Salvatore Maddi’s 35 years of research into “hardi…
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by Robert W. Firestone, Ph.D. Foreword by Joseph Richman, Ph.D. Voice Therapy: A Psychotherapeutic Approach to Self-Destructive Behavior is a thought-provoking work that provides clinicians with a detailed description of Voice Therapy, an innovative therapeutic procedure developed by Dr. Robert W. Firestone that can be used to elicit and bring to the foreground negative thought patterns antithetical to the self and cynical toward others (the crit…
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In this revolutionary work, Dr. Firestone develops the theory and underlying dynamics involved in disturbed family relationships and the “poisonous pedagogy” that characterizes generally accepted patterns of child-rearing. The author expands on the phenomenological descriptions of the traditional abuses of children previously offered by Alice Miller, R.D. Laing, James Garbarino, and others, and explains how well-intentioned parents unwittingly in…
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