Search Results for: lisa firestone/feed/2009/11/fear-of-intimacy

Rudeness and Disrespect: What to Do and How to Manage

…child tolerate “no” and taking turns rather than using power, control, or fear. While standards for behavior are important, the parenting question is how to help my child express sadness, fear, disappointment, or anger without becoming hostile. Focusing on how a child “should” behave or insisting that a teen “can’t talk to me that way” is frankly inaccurate. The truth is no matter what rules are set, expectations held, or punishments given, it is…

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Why Treating Postpartum Depression As Trauma is Key to Good Care

…er body, which may seem overtaken by new functions of childbirth and breastfeeding. May be experiencing extreme fear, anger or helplessness Can be feeling grief of her life lost before she had a baby (when she could work, sleep, do what she wanted) May feel she should “suck it up” and handle it herself (much like other trauma survivors) Also like other trauma survivors, the trauma of PPD and/or PMADs impacts the mother and those around her–the bab…

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An Overview of Separation Theory

…g of separateness causes a certain degree of anxiety. How we cope with our fear and the subsequent defenses we utilize determine the course of our emotional lives. Eventually, children realize that their parents will die, though at first the child somehow feels exempt from this fate. In their desperation to escape the terrifying loss that they see as inevitable, children cling more tenaciously to their parents and the family system. At the same ti…

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Dealing with Unresolved Trauma

…nts may not seem as dramatic, but they impacted us by causing us distress, fear, or pain and, therefore, changed the way we saw ourselves, other people, and the world around us. In many cases, we’ll discover that these traumas are not fully resolved. An example of this occurred in a course I taught on coherent narrative. A woman wrote down a story, which she shared with the class. She started by shamefully stating that as a kid, she killed a horse…

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Why Can’t You Move on From Your Relationship?

…h them. Anxious Insecure Attachment Anxious insecure attachment leads to a fear of not being loved, accompanied by insistence on being reassured, a combination which drives a partner away, thereby recreating the person’s past. Unfortunately, these old, familiar patterns of relating often make people feel unlovable. Staying with a partner who doesn’t consistently see or value them in some way is a painful recreation of the past, but it is also a mo…

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What It’s Like To Live With Mental Disorder

…ry little possible thing that could go wrong — negativity, frustration and fear all rule inside my inner thoughts. Feeling like you’re not good enough, yet you know you are. Feeling like you’re not doing enough, yet you’re doing too much. It’s a constant battle inside of yourself. I just wish more people had an understanding about what mental illness is and that it has many faces.” — Jill L. PLEASE DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY “The reason why I cancel…

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How to Help Someone with Anxiety 

…support can be just as helpful. Do your part to destigmatize. The biggest fear I had in opening up to close ones was the fear that people would look at me differently. By reassuring them that you still see them as who they truly are, under the occasional mask of anxiety, they can feel more comfortable to be honest and open about what they are going through. Encourage seeking professional help. Going hand-in-hand with destigmatizing, talking about…

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What Drives Our Loneliness?

…hat emotionally deadened way of being and living,“ wrote my father, Robert Firestone, in a book we co-authored Creating a Life of Meaning and Compassion. Individuals build certain psychological defenses to adapt to their early environment that can hurt or limit them in their current lives. These defenses can lead to feelings of alienation, isolation, and depression. To truly face and fight our loneliness, we have to look inside at these deeper def…

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Parenting During Times of Stress

…sruptive to our daily lives. The uncertainty of this situation has aroused fear and anxiety in many of us and likely in our children as well. The way children respond to stress can look different from adults and is dependent on many factors including a child’s temperament, available coping skills, and life experiences. Children also respond differently depending on their age or stage of development. Young children may become more cranky, throw tan…

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The Secret to Staying Close to Your Partner

…our best hope for breaking the cycles that would otherwise destroy or diminish our relationships and sharing closer, more loving connections. Join Dr. Lisa Firestone and Dr. Les Greenberg for the eCourse “The Power of Emotion.”…

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