Search Results for: lisa firestone/feed/2009/11/fear-of-intimacy

5 Most Important Relationship Resolutions

…ssful to find and maintain a loving relationship. Our critical inner voice feeds on all of our negative life experiences from the day we are born to form a destructive perception of who we are. Because its negative point of view is so entrenched in us, it can be hard to shake. Try to notice how this inner critic creeps into your relationship. It may sound friendly when it says, “Don’t let her get to you. You are just fine on your own. She will onl…

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Five Ways to Avoid an Infidelity

…s. Yet, trust and communication are fundamental to establishing closeness, intimacy and real love. Your partner should be someone you can talk to, someone who you can offer honest feedback to, and who you can encourage to do the same to you. Many relationship experts believe there are times when honesty is not the best policy, but I strongly disagree. Even when “not wanting to unnecessarily hurt someone’s feelings” seems like a kind sentiment, it…

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Creating a Loving Relationship

…Watch this short presentation on how to create a loving relationship: Suggested Reading: Why You Should Be the One Who Loves More How Mindfulness Can Save Your Relationship Understanding Fear of Intimacy What to Look For in a Partner How Your Attachment Style Impacts Your Relationship Relationship Skills…

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What Love is Not: A Proven Method to Make Love Last

…nd that the inner critic we all possess in our minds that encourages us to fear and destroy true intimacy can be just as savage to our partners as they are to us. Thoughts about ourselves such as, “I’m not loveable. She will never care for me the way I care for her” can just as easily turn on our partners suggesting things like, “He is so selfish. Why doesn’t he ever think of me?” These thoughts dictate our behaviors, allowing us to treat our part…

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Sex and The Critical Inner Voice

…or each other. Watch a Whiteboard Video on The Critical Inner Voice Related Books: Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships Fear of Intimacy  …

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What’s Wrong With Infidelity?

…more freedom, increased independence, and open communication. Maintaining intimacy means breaking down restrictions and building up trust. It means staying close to someone without losing your unique sense of self. Here are some of the do’s and don’ts that help keep couples excited about each other and less likely to grow apart. Do’s • Hold on to your friendships. Your friends bring out different aspects of your personality that are authentically…

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You May Be Wrong About Your Attachment Pattern

…$49 On-Demand Webinars     In this Webinar: This online workshop with Dr. Lisa Firestone will provide tools to help people heal insecure attachment, resolve trauma, integrate their… Learn More In general, an insecure attachment pattern on either side of the spectrum can leave us with skewed ideas about ourselves, about how others are likely to treat us and how much love and care we deserve. A dismissive person may believe they need more space, wh…

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What’s Ruining Your Sex Life?

…ho you are. One of the most effective ways to do this is to keep challenging your inner critic and exploring your own, real feelings about your sexuality. To hear more from Dr. Lisa Firestone on the critical inner voice and sexuality, join her for the Webinar, “Finding Healthy and Satisfying Sexuality.”…

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How To Tell the Difference Between Real Love and Fantasy

…ationship. Non-defensive and Open Vs Angry and Closed Off Our reactions to feedback are good indicators of our potential to resolve problems in our relationships. When we are closed to criticism, suggestions, or new experiences, we limit ourselves and our partners in ways that impair our interactions. When we communicate with our partners, it’s important to look for the kernel of truth in what they are saying instead of sifting through each statem…

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Real Love or a Fantasy Bond: The Appeal of the Twilight Saga

…enges that arise with real love is form what my father psychologist Robert Firestone termed a “Fantasy Bond.” The fantasy bond is a connection built out of fears from danger and even from death that we often experience at an unconscious level. This bond substitutes real feelings of love, respect, and spontaneity with an illusion of connection, a focus on form over substance, and a false sense of security and completion by another person. When we f…

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