Search Results for: lisa firestone/feed/2009/11/fear-of-intimacy

Insight into Extremism and the Terrorist Mentality

…re essentially “immortality projects” that attempt to defend against death fears, one can learn better methods to cope with the terror. The author suggests that (1) people can be taught to communicate their fears openly about the subject with a person close to them or in a group format. This type of communication affords a certain relief from the pain; (2) they can develop the ability to express the full range of their feelings in an emotional cat…

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The Effects of Honesty, Empathy, and Higher Order Thinking on Moral Development

…by adults, otherwise they will start experiencing fear at a young age. The fear constructs a wall within the child causing a toxic situation where they turn to themselves or to their peers to fill the void. So how do we prepare our children for success regardless of their gender? It is extremely essential for a child to have multiple positive influences (i.e. teachers, family members, and friends), but we cannot always control the actions of other…

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Social Anxiety Disorder

…or performing in front of a crowd. The reason they struggle is based on a fear of failure and a lack of self-confidence, which ultimately makes it difficult for the child to develop assertiveness. What are the symptoms of anxiety? A child suffering from Social Anxiety Disorder may find it impossible to participate in some of the same activities as their peers because they are driven by their fear of rejection. They will generally try to avoid the…

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Working Behind the Wall: Mental Health of Correctional-Based Staff

…ivity, the officers, the safety of the building, everything. There is also fear in this work. Fear is a natural part of the correctional system. It has always been my belief that law enforcement and first responders are super human. Our instinct when faced with danger is to run from it. Yet, these individuals run toward it. They run in with trained minds and lose their fears, while running. At least, that is what it looks like to an outside observ…

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Offering Psychological First Aid After a Tragedy

…g.” PFA is designed to help people cope with the stress, shock, confusion, fear, feelings of hopelessness, grief, anger, guilt and withdrawal that arise when a catastrophe has occurred. This state of shock in the wake of tragedy not only impacts people’s long-term psychological stability, but their short term well-being. They may start replaying horrid scenes in their heads or scaring themselves over potential threats and unlikely dangers. Getting…

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Dear Voices…………Goodbye.

…agonising double bind. You fill me with your toxic shame, Your guilt, your fear, and how to take the blame. You’ve taught me how to fear success, And believe I’ve failed, having done my best. Sometimes I voice my protest, At what you say to me, But you’re always there to lead me back where you need me to be. Confused, lost, and broken, as if I’m not really there, A torturous re-education, from you, the voices; The ones who really care. How can you…

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The Appeal of Online Dating and Suggestions for Success

…urage via confidence or liquid, you won’t initiate a conversation due to a fear of being rejected. How humiliating to hear, “I’m sorry but I have a girlfriend,” or when you ask for her number, she responds “Why don’t I take yours?” The chances of rejection are often too high to place confidence in vulnerability. Online dating provides enough options in a small amount of time, and a computer screen between us to alleviate the fear of rejection. Ano…

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Living Life as an Authentic Adult

…f discontent. The major deterrent to living an adult existence lies in the fear of growing up. This includes the fear of breaking imagined connections with parents, being alone, standing out as an individual, having a strong point of view, recognizing one’s value and confronting the inevitability of death, the ultimate separation from self. Like this woman, many people have a strong desire to hold on to fantasy bonds or imagined connections to par…

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Challenging the Fantasy Bond: A Search for Personal Identity and Freedom

…intimate partners, and social groups. In Challenging the Fantasy Bond, Dr. Firestone presents his latest thoughts and observations about the self-defeating aspects of this process and places the original concepts in the broader context of his overall theoretical approach, Separation Theory. Compelling case studies illustrate how the critical inner voice causes considerable pain and discomfort and interferes with intimacy. These case studies demons…

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Mindsight: The Unexpected Value of Getting to Know Yourself

…ch two people create that beautiful resonant sense of becoming a ‘we.’ The intimacy that blossoms can be amazing, but the journey to get there and remain there can be rough. To become linked as a ‘we,’ a couple needs also to become differentiated as two ‘me’s.’” To illustrate this point, he describes the process of losing one’s identity in a couple relationship as forming a smoothie, whereas when each person brings their individuality to their uni…

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