Search Results for: lisa firestone/feed/2009/11/fear-of-intimacy

6 Reasons Most People Are Afraid of Love

…people from attaining the closeness they most desire. So what drives these fears of intimacy? What keeps people from finding and keeping the love they say they want? This Webinar will explore the six most significant reasons people fear love and how these fears work to sabotage real closeness and lasting intimacy. Both partners contribute to relationship problems, but by discovering and challenging one’s own, subconscious fears, one can create new…

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The Problem with Shopping for Relationships Online

…our own insecurities, our early attachment patterns, or our own underlying fears around intimacy, many of us are just as likely to choose people for the wrong reasons as we are for the right reasons. That is why it’s valuable to look at our patterns and see what common threads tie us to certain people and profiles, and whether these are the types of connections that are likely to lead to what we really want. 3. Re-check Your Checklist Many people…

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The Fantasy Bond or Primary Defense

…children. These conditions intensify the child’s feeling of isolation and fear of abandonment. To the extent that children come to feel that they are unlovable and alone, they are diverted from what would have been their natural developmental pathway and they go on to lead primarily defended lives. Without exception, all children suffer a certain amount of interpersonal pain or trauma within their families. Despite parents’ desire to do the best…

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What Does the Popularity of 50 Shades of Grey Say About Our Sexuality?

…y challenge the fundamental and flawed ways we view ourselves. Maintaining intimacy can also raise the stakes in our relationship, causing us to fully feel the preciousness of our partners, ourselves, and of life in general. This poignant emotional reaction can ignite fear in us on an existential level. With more to lose, we are more likely to put our guard up or pull away from being close. This also explains why it may be easier for us to tolerat…

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Rihanna and Chris Brown: The Abusive Cycle

…ed of the two becoming closer, she continues to deny the gravity of abuse. Fear and Manipulation: In many cases, the abusive partner uses fear and manipulation to keep the abused one from leaving. The victim becomes is stuck in the relationship, because they know that if they leave, there will be major consequences. The perpetrator uses threats of physical punishment, committing suicide, taking away the victim’s money or children, even killing the…

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Be Your Own Couples Therapist

…t lead us to hurt ourselves and those close to us in the present. It is an ongoing journey of self-reflection that helps us to reveal who we truly are and to know and love someone for who they are as well. Join Dr. Lisa Firestone for the CE Webinar “Working with High-Conflict Couples” on January 24. Learn more or register here. Read more about differentiation in Dr. Lisa Firestone’s latest book, The Self Under Siege…

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PTSD, Iraq Veterans, Veterans mental health

As Iraq Ends, a New Battle with PTSD Begins

…ths will be greeted with these tools to combat the emotional wounds of battle.   Learn more about treating PTSD in an our CE webinar with Dr. Donald Meichenbaum and Dr. Lisa Firestone, Treatment of Individuals with PTSD, Complex PTSD and Comorbid Disorders: A Life-Span Approach.  …

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Why We Lost a Lovable Genius: The Hidden Enemy in Suicide

…nner voice may be telling you, it is not you. YOU matter. You’re important. Get help today. Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Dr. Lisa Firestone will be hosting the free one-hour online presentation “Learn the CPR of Suicide Prevention” on Sep. 11 –Learn More or Register Now…

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The Fantasy Bond: A substitute for a truly loving relationship

…e the psychological pain and sadness involved in attempting to reestablish intimacy (4) expose their fears of individuation and separation, including the fear of loss or death of their partner as well as their own death (5) move toward independence and respect for each other and establish true equality. Disrupt reciprocal patterns of dominance, submission, and defiance (6) develop a non-defensive posture toward feedback and an open and honest styl…

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Is There a Place for Constructive Anger in Your Relationship?

…look and sound like? 4. Try to come up with a framework for giving direct feedback to your partner. The following internationally recognized Couples Therapists offer you a sense of what’s involved: Terry Real, 4-part feedback involves: 1. What you saw/heard? 2. What you made up about it? 3. How you feel about it? 4. What you would like to have happen in the future? (The New Rules of Marriage) Tara Brach maps out another process: 1. Express someth…

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