Search Results for: lisa firestone/feed/2009/11/fear-of-intimacy

Intimacy issues, relationship advice, psychalive

Rebuilding Intimacy after Tragedy: How to Help Your Partner Cope

…T feel rejected if they avoid physical contact or need to move slowly with intimacy. DO validate their feelings. DO NOT minimize or dismiss their feelings with phrases like “forget it” or “get back to normal” even if a significant amount of time has passed since the tragedy. DO allow them to have alone time. DO NOT discourage them from going out on their own. DO NOT take over tasks that they can do for themselves. DO NOT expect this grieving perso…

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I Hate My Body: Dealing with Poor Body Image

…l enemy. You can learn more about these steps, which were developed by Dr. Firestone and her father Dr. Robert Firestone, here. One of the most helpful exercises they created involves writing down our specific “voices” as “you” statements. This changes the perspective of the voice from being something we believe to be true about ourselves (i.e. “I have such a thick waist.”) to something someone else is saying to us (i.e. “You have such a thick wai…

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Sexting, Technology and Relationships

Is Sexting Cheating You Out Of Real Intimacy?

…e shops, games, videos, social media, and more. We rarely have to face our fears on Facebook or feel our anger over a game of Angry Birds. Technology can numb us from pain, but it also numbs us from passion. Any activity we use to cut off negative emotions has the unfortunate effect of diminishing positive emotions as well. This can be particularly taxing on our intimate relationships. If we use the little energy we have left at the end of a day t…

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Fighting the Emotional Battles of Breast Cancer

…sa Etheridge did this, “So I really totally went away and that really hurt intimacy. I was dealing with this issue, this fear, I was fighting it all myself but I was not available; I was not there [with my partner].” It is important to maintain intimacy and actively go against what your critical inner voice is telling you. Dr. Ornich advises, “Anything that can create a sense of intimacy is healing; whether it is making love, whether it is by expr…

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Are You Single for the Right Reasons?

…searcher Brene Brown pointed out, “Vulnerability is not about fear and grief and disappointment. It is the birthplace of everything we’re hungry for.” Join Dr. Lisa Firestone for the Webinar ” Why Am I Still Single? Learn the Barriers That Ward Off Love“…

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Why Am I Still Single? Learn the Barriers That Ward Off Love

…have trouble finding love. These include defenses, unhealthy attractions, fears of intimacy, pickiness, low self-esteem, fear of competition, isolation, routine and rule-making. Many people harbor psychological defenses that they believe will protect them but that actually ward off love. Dr. Firestone will introduce ways that people can differentiate from these defenses by recognizing and challenging the traits that prevent them from forming clos…

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Springtime Renewal

…Just think about it. The more you avoid, the more power you bestow to the fear; the more you confront, the less substantial the fear becomes. As a recent fortune cookie read: “Comfort Zones are most often expanded through discomfort.” Although Exposure Therapy may seem daunting at first, especially when we’ve spent most of our lives avoiding that which we fear, it does get easier with concerted effort over time. Truthfully, nothing worth having i…

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The Importance of Gratitude When You Have to Face Trauma Today

…ht even bring tears to your eyes. What if you immediately notice only that fear or sadness? What if even fear or sadness could eventually also bring an awareness of what you have in your life, even gratitude? What if those were signs of how meaningful your pet is to you? What if you have to hold both—the feelings of joy and fear? What if it might lead to a feeling of lightness and full-heartedness? What if it leads to the awareness that you can ho…

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Dr. Robert Firestone on "What is a Mentally Healthy Person?"

Dr. Robert Firestone describes the qualities of a mentally healthy person: First of all, it depends a lot on their own motivation and their particular goals for themselves. But in general, the kind of person I would like to see them be is one who had a strong sense of themselves; a person who could deal with feelings; a person who was non-defensive; a person who had a strong sense of values; a person whose values were inner directed, rather than…

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A Guide to Finding Yourself

…ndividuals gradually acquire in the course of their development,” said Dr. Firestone. “It is self-assertion, and a natural, healthy striving for love, satisfaction and meaning in one’s interpersonal world.” Knowing our personal power means recognizing that we have a heavy effect on our lives. We create the world we live in. To create a better world means shifting our outlook, feeling empowered and rejecting a victimized point of view. Dr. Robert F…

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