…oncept. So, in this unusual space of time alone, after the 24/7 horror and fear subsided and a more sobered assessment of the state of the world ascended, aside from doing the work that I am able to do from a laptop, and aside from binging some incredibly entertaining and entirely shallow series (ahem, thank you British Baking Show), I have also tried to feed my mind more substantive fare; documentaries, books, interviews, information on the peopl…
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…how up.” Slowing down and taking time to relate is essential to sustaining intimacy. Consistently doing things that your partner perceives as loving will also help keep the spark alive. Less personal relating – When you do take the time to relate to your partner, do you still talk about anything meaningful? Have conversations become more practical or less friendly? It’s important to be open and share our lives with those we love. In doing so, we r…
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…This can show up in an overall fear of losing control or in more specific fears, such as fears of making noise or moving, or even fears of urinating or defecating when letting go. Control is related to existential issues of life and death. Faced with issues of death anxiety, people tend to detach themselves from their animal nature and disconnect from a body that they know is mortal. This dissociation can inhibit feeling pleasurable responses in…
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…dealing with sensitive issues that arise within the couple. Couples who are playful and teasing often defuse potentially volatile situations with their humor. A good sense of humor definitely eases the tense moments in a relationship. Besides, it always feels good to have fun with someone! Read Dr. Lisa Firestone’s Article on the Characteristics of an Ideal Partner Creating Thriving Relationships: Free Webinar with Drs. Daniel Siegel and Lisa Fire…
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…ems in your life. Using the information presented above, you can challenge fears, such as the fear that you’re having a heart attack, and instead, correctly identify panic for what it is, a false alarm of your survival mechanism. Avoid avoidance. In other words, don’t do anything different because you have had panic attacks. Don’t avoid activities, places, or people because you have had a panic attack. Do the things that scare you as long as they…
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…nal affair can have on the other partner; Although no betrayal of physical intimacy is being committed against a partner, emotional cheating can be hurtful when attention and intimacy that would be directed toward your partner is instead given to someone else. While an openly close friendship outside the marriage may not be a threat, it can be hurtful when it leads to a rejection between a couple. Anyone who’s been cheated on, or even cheated them…
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…of thinking, an alien point-of-view that is operating to destroy love and intimacy in our lives. How your critical inner voice attacks your relationship #1: It attacks and undermines you The critical inner voice shows itself in all the self-critical thoughts that we have when we let down our defenses and feel vulnerable to another person. It is all of the picky thoughts we have about our appearance, all the criticisms we have about the way we tal…
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…How do our critical thoughts and self-conscious attitudes prevent us from getting close physically? Psychologist Dr. Lisa Firestone talks about the thought processes that can get in the way of experiencing sexual intimacy and ways of overcoming these distancing patterns….
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…30 years as a researcher and clinical psychologist, I often reference the Fear of Intimacy, a book by my father, Dr. Robert Firestone, that aims to explain people’s resistance to love. When I introduce the theory surrounding fear of intimacy to people, they often say, “That sounds exactly like my husband!” or “My girlfriend totally has that issue.” It’s a concept people have trouble recognizing in themselves at first, because most people think th…
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