…t? End it. Just end it.” These words provide a window into the thoughts or critical inner voices that drive self-destructive behavior. We can all learn from people who survive their suicide attempts. We can come to identify specific self-destructive behaviors that the person is engaging in, which we know from our research are dictated by a critical inner voice. In an effort to increase awareness, I’ve highlighted the following warning signs and ex…
Learn More
…rents were generally loving, the subtle or incidental times that they were critical or irritable or insensitive effected us, making deep impressions in our psyches and leaving us with unfavorable attitudes toward ourselves. We enter adulthood programmed to relate to the world at large just as we related in our original families. So when the treatment that we received in our childhoods was bad, that is the treatment we seek today. Even though we ar…
Learn More
…dependent toward them. Our distressed behaviors may make our partner more critical, perceiving us as weak or clingy, and they may then pull back further. Alternately, a partner’s withholding may leave us angry or hardened against him or her. We may withdraw in response and become colder in our actions. Naturally, this too will leave us estranged and emotionally distant from each other. Talk about issues in non-heated moments When engines are revv…
Learn More
…ornia, and though I am teaching a weekend workshop on how to “Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice,” I am also looking forward to connecting with my own sense of who I am, what matters to me, and identifying those daily internal dialogues that get in my way. So why is a retreat so different from taking time at home to take on those dusty to-do lists, those pesky New Year’s resolutions, or those personal goals of spending more time with your partner o…
Learn More
…uld really work harder. What makes you think you deserve free time?” This “critical inner voice” can be harsh, judgmental, and perfectionistic. It tells us that if we don’t do this or that or get things exactly right, then we are failures: terrible parents, awful spouses, losers in our careers, and unworthy human beings, in general. We get so lost in what we should be, that we lose a sense of who we are and what we want. In addition to pressuring…
Learn More
…ompleted my dissertation on suicide, I have learned a great deal about the critical inner voices that drive a person toward suicide. In my years of experience publishing books and articles, producing films and creating assessment scales on suicide, what has fascinated me the most is the consistent finding of the role of the destructive inner voice in suicide. This voice drives suicidal tendencies, deceptively convincing people that it is better to…
Learn More
…ing a burden to others or not belonging anywhere. The combination of these Critical Inner Voices and the emotional pain people are feeling can lead them to believe that they shouldn’t be alive and the people in their lives would be better off without them. However, this is never the case. Harming yourself will only hurt the people that you love. Studies show that each person who commits suicide directly impacts at least seven people. Furthermore,…
Learn More
…They can be immature, self-hating, irritable, angry, suspicious or overly critical. And regrettably these limitations tend to impact how they parent their children. From this less than perfect experience, children grow up with a less than perfect image of themselves. As a result, people arrive at adulthood psychologically equipped to survive in the type of emotional environment that they have come from. But it is a whole different world out there…
Learn More
…irectly for what I want? Does my tone sound warm and inviting or whiny and critical? Do I purposely avoid eye contact or resist affection? Do I create restrictions based on my own insecurity? Do I reject time alone with my spouse? If we can be curious and non-defensive, we can really come to know our own cycle and patterns, both in coming toward and moving away from our partner. We can also notice the coaching thoughts or “critical inner voices” t…
Learn More
…you over the other? How does your child feel about him/herself? Is he/she critical of him/her self in anyway? Does he/she feel self-conscious in any situation? Does he/she ever feel shy? Does he/she ever feel afraid? When he/she has nightmares, what are they about? What are his/her thoughts about death? Write a description of your child. When describing this young child, think about the traits that you are enjoying seeing emerge in his/her person…
Learn More