Search Results for: critical%20inner%20voice

"Get by With a Little Help from Your Friends"

…ssion and improve people’s mental health. When you avoid an isolated, self-critical way of thinking, you are far more able to think logically and behave pro-actively. Friends remind you that your worth is not determined by how much you make or defined by what you do. They offer a crucial perspective that counteracts your own critical point of view. Even if you’re not comfortable turning to your friends for sound psychological advice, the simple di…

Learn More

5 Ways to Overcome Your Fear of Love

…affection, sloughed off a compliment, etc? As we identify the thoughts or “critical inner voices” that filled our heads on these occasions, we can start to recognize themes and recurring behaviors and begin to identify patterns. We can see how our own defenses systematically operate to ward off love. We may notice that we have trouble being acknowledged by our partner or that we feel angry when he or she relies on us. We may feel repelled by a lov…

Learn More

What Love is Not: A Proven Method to Make Love Last

…individuals may force us to face our own insecurities, jealousy, and self-critical thoughts, but it will help us grow stronger, which in turn leads to a more real, more solid connection with our partner. Love is never submission or dominance, emotional coercion or manipulation. Emotional game playing is a defense mechanism formed to protect ourselves from the hurts, rejections, and uncertainties that come with feeling vulnerable to, invested in,…

Learn More

Having an Allergy to a Person – Part 1

…r, but she would not let reality (presence of hostile feelings towards overcritical mother) cast an evil light upon it (the ideal image of mother-daughter relationship). So she sits and listens to her mother’s critical remarks. Consequently, she clenches her fist and keeps repeating to herself Please, God, don’t let me scream. Now, the situation is that her own mother arouses overwhelming feelings of hostility and anger that she has to smother. In…

Learn More

How Jealousy Destroys Relationships

…hreatened in reality or are they just feeling threatened emotionally? What critical thoughts are they experiencing toward their partners and what critical thoughts are they having toward them selves as a result of these perceived threats to their relationships? By exploring feelings of jealousy and understanding why people react (or overreact) to the things they do, we can learn more about ourselves and limit behaviors that our destructive to our…

Learn More

How Divorce Impacts Children

…ing up means for adults. In fact, most of us are all too familiar with the critical thoughts that tell individuals who have just split up that they are failures, that they will never meet anyone or that they are unwanted or alone. But what effect does a break-up or divorce have on children? What critical thoughts are they hearing about themselves, and how can we help them cope with the real pain of the situation? Here the Mayo Clinic outlines a ba…

Learn More

Quiz: How Stressed Are you?

…rselves up, and literally scheduling ourselves out, to get stressed.” The “critical inner voice” is an internal commentary we all possess that criticizes our performance and undermines our accomplishments. It tends to feed on and fuel our stress levels by telling us, “You’ll never get this done! You’re going to fail. You can’t take this pressure.” By identifying this inner critic and noting when it starts to cloud our thinking, we can stop it from…

Learn More

Mindfulness Can Quiet Down the A**Hole Voice in Our Heads

…reduced activity in the part of the brain associated with a wandering and critical mind. This was also correlated with lower scores on the Beck Depression Inventory compared with a group who wasn’t practicing mindfulness. Could this cortical midline area of the brain be where the A-hole in our mind is? This is certainly a worthwhile doctoral dissertation. In any case, it’s the experience of thousands and thousands of people that shows practicing…

Learn More

Letting Go of Anger

…ning it on ourselves. We may then start to experience an onslaught of self-critical thoughts. For example, if your partner or spouse tends to nag at you about practical matters, you may initially feel infuriated at being intruded on or criticized. Your heated response may strike you as irrational. Getting mad would only rock the boat, so instead, you disregard your emotional reaction. Soon enough, you may start to turn this frustration on yourself…

Learn More

Is My Self-Hatred Getting in the Way of Love?

…tive self-image. Some people avoid the threat by choosing a partner who is critical of them; therefore their views are harmonious. Other people protect their old identity by pushing love away. But, if we are brave and hang in there with someone who loves us, we can come to see ourselves through their eyes. It won’t be easy; we will be very anxious. There will be times when we will want to dismiss our partner or push them away. But if we give them…

Learn More