Search Results for: critical%20inner%20voice

VIDEO: Dr. Allan Schore on the Role of Shame in Suicide

…ly regulate out of it. So we’re agreed on this. I think shame dynamics are critical in the work with suicide. And incidentally, shame dynamics have also been shown to be right hemisphere again. So here we go. Ultimately, if the baby goes into a stress response, especially if it’s going into hyper-arousal and then it’s bouncing down into hypo-arousal, you’re getting a severe perturbation of the cortisol levels. A very high level of cortisol. Well,…

Learn More

VIDEO: Dr. Allan Schore on Somatoform Dissociation

…pist to be able to track even low levels of massive disengagement would be critical. If you don’t track them, essentially, they’ll build in intensity and then you’re dealing with, you know, a massive situation here. So again, massive. But, what does it mean again about being able to track your own heart rate when it’s dropping, etc.? How do we pick up dissociation? So as we talked about before again, this brings the body into the work and I really…

Learn More

Changing Sense of Identity

…us by our history. We must also take steps to free ourselves from the self-critical thoughts and self-limiting psychological defenses that have bent us out of shape. In her presentation, Dr. Firestone will introduce the concept of differentiation, a step-by-step approach to revealing one’s true self. She will explain the role of the “critical inner voice” in holding us back and discuss how practicing self-compassion can change the way we see ourse…

Learn More

Why Is It So Hard to Leave a Narcissist?

…have a side of us that doubts and diminishes who we are. We all possess a “critical inner voice” that tells us we are unworthy or undesirable in all kinds of ways. Being with a narcissist may make us feel a little better about ourselves in some respects, because we feel good that someone with such a seemingly high opinion of themselves chose us. Our partner may also build us up, making us feel special as their significant other, because they would…

Learn More

Is Being Proud of Your Kids Really about You?

…e is that it can come off as pressure. As parents, we can be demanding and critical or praising and prideful, but both sides of the coin can have the same effect; they can make our child feel pressured and disconnected from their own undertakings and accomplishments. Children may feel they have to achieve in order to win their parent’s love. They may feel the added pressure of the parent’s own expectations and how they reflect on their parent. Par…

Learn More
How to Get Your Relationship Out of a Rut

How to Get Your Relationship Out of a Rut

…chews his food so loud. She always slurps her coffee. When these types of critical thoughts take over, it is impossible to notice any acts of kindness. You have to shift your focus away from this negative thinking about your partner. It is helpful to identify these types of thoughts as critical inner voices that do not reflect your actual point of view about you or your partner. It’s like you have an inner coach running both of you down, actively…

Learn More

When the State of the World Overwhelms You

…nd alert without torturing ourselves with destructive thought patterns or “critical inner voices” that coach us to feel helpless. There are real reasons to feel sadness, real reasons to feel anger, but there is no value in using the state of the world to remain tortured and trapped inside our minds. We are far better off getting out of our head, seeking connection, taking actions, and interacting with the physical world around us. If we notice our…

Learn More

The Act of Loving

…ou are. Expressing your love in this manner enriches both your lives. Your critical inner voice will most likely try to sabotage your loving exchanges with your partner. It will influence you to overlook a loving gesture: He never demonstrates his love for you. I don’t see any signs of it. It will belittle your partner’s loving responses: You call that loving? It’s nothing. You deserve more than that. It will make fun of you when you acknowledge s…

Learn More

10 Ways to Fight Loneliness While Sheltering at Home

…rselves. 2. Get out of your head – In part 1 of this blog I wrote about a “critical inner voice” we all possess that pounces on us when we’re struggling and turns against us in the face of challenges. This “voice” has a tendency to get louder when we’re alone and in our heads, criticizing and evaluating us in harsh ways. It also encourages us to think no one cares about us or wants to hear from us. Getting to know this inner critic and noticing wh…

Learn More
holidays during the pandemic

How to Make the Holiday Special

…, we often turn it against ourselves, feeling more down, drained, and self-critical. Letting out our sadness can be like letting a wave pass over us. Yes, it will rise and peak, but it will also pass. And although, the feeling may return, each time it will leave us more in touch with ourselves and stronger in the moments we wish to carry on and be there for others. Accepting our pain in this way can also make the joyful moments more precious. 2. H…

Learn More