…ere clients are turned against themselves — where they are acting on their critical inner voices. They are sensitive to the wide range of addictive patterns manifested by clients and have the courage to help expose and interrupt these patterns. In an important sense, the therapist can be conceptualized as a “transitional object” in that he or she provides the client with an authentic relationship during the transition from depending on self-nouris…
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…o as differentiation. This process involves four steps: Differentiate from critical, punishing, and destructive attitudes that you internalized in your early lives Differentiate from undesirable traits in your parents that you see in yourself Challenge the defensive reactions you had (as a child self) that no longer serve you in the present Formulating and learning to live by your own values – who do you want to be? Taking these steps of different…
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…lf is under siege from the alien self. To a certain extent, we incorporate critical attitudes and self-destructive elements into our own personalities and remain undifferentiated from our parents or caretakers throughout our lifetime. For most people, there is very little awareness of the negative elements that we have assimilated and manifest in our personalities. These characteristics operate to the detriment of ourselves and others, particularl…
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…We asked relationship expert Dr. Lisa Firestone for her advice on everything from how to make love last to how to get over a devastating break-up. Watch her answers below. YouTube responded with an error: The playlist identified with the request’s <code>playlistId</code> parameter cannot be found….
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…ing about negative feelings and their meaning helps our children attend to critical information so they can effectively navigate through their lives. In this day and age, there are infinite ways for our kids to attempt to avoid and escape negative emotions and discomfort. They have quick access to distraction and sources of entertainment in the palm of their hand. At almost any moment, they can grab mom’s cell phone out of her purse so they don’t…
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…group and a denial of any negative aspects or wrongdoing. Members project critical, hostile attitudes onto the “out” group, resulting in demonization of the outsider. This is best exemplified by the concept of ethnic cleansing where the “in” group is considered “clean” and the “out” group “dirty.” Rage is directed at any threat to their cause or belief system. Once this aggression is acted out, there are real grievances and hatred between the opp…
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…not feel as close to their partner. They may have destructive thoughts or “critical inner voices,” such as “How dare he treat you that way. You better stand up for yourself” or “she is so self-centered; she only cares about herself.” As my father psychologist Robert Firestone often says about engaging in this way, “You may win the battle, but you will lose the war.” While many people tend to be more combative, there are those who take the opposite…
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…in 2010. To battle depression means taking on this internalized enemy or “critical inner voice.” Learning how to identify the self-destructive thoughts of this inner critic and learning how to take actions in our own self interest, is the beginning of challenging the roots of depression. In this Webinar, Dr. Lisa Firestone addresses ways we can identify and deal effectively with the negative thinking that leads to the destructive spiral of depres…
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…our way or that we can’t control, but what makes matters much worse is a “critical inner voice” we all possess that punishes us unnecessarily and escalates our stress. “How can you sleep? You have so much to do.” “What makes you think you can just relax?” “This is just too much. You can’t handle it.” This voice is a friend to our stress, paving a tunnel for it to pour in and consume our state of mind. Identifying our “inner critic” by noticing wh…
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…artners or the criticisms toward a perceived third-party threat, are often critical thoughts toward ourselves,” said Firestone. She describes how a person’s “critical inner voice” can flood his or her mind with harmful suspicions and accusations that fuel feelings of jealousy. She frequently finds that what people are telling themselves about what’s going on with their partner is often a lot worse than what is actually going on. For example, a per…
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