…negative ways we see ourselves are often further projected onto them. The critical feelings our parents had toward us are frequently passed on to our kids as well. An example of this is a mother, who often disapproved of her son’s “wild” personality. She found herself disciplining her son frequently and watching him at all times to make sure he behaved. The second he would start “being silly” or “bouncing off the walls,” she would step in, sendin…
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…r partner from playing the role of parent or child. It will interrupt your critical inner voice’s attacks on your partner. The critical inner voice operates as an internal dialogue that supports the defenses that were formed from negative experiences you had as a child. You carry it within you into your relationships. It instills a level of doubt and criticism that keeps you from feeling that you are loveable and reminds you to be suspicious of ot…
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Select from PsychAlive’s featured playlists or browse videos below. Playlists Playlists Self-Development Parenting Relationships Dr. Robert Firestone Dr. Lisa Firestone Dr. Carol Gilligan Dr. James Gilligan Dr. James and Dr. Carol Gilligan Dr. James Garbarino Dr. Kirk Schneider Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn Dr. Dan Siegel Dr. Peter A. Levine Dr. Pat Love Dr. Sheldon Solomon Dr. Donald Meichenbaum Dr. Donna Rockwell Dr. Daniel Zamir Dr. Christine Courtois Dr…
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…ve when it comes to their true wants, desires and goals, the other side is critical, coaxing, and self-destructive. Psychologist and author Dr. Robert Firestone refers to this internal enemy as an “anti-self. The “critical inner voice” is the language of the anti-self. This “voice” can sabotage, diminish, or undermine people in their pursuit of what matters to them. Therefore, learning to deal effectively with their inner critic is central to all…
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…fantasy bond? Could I get back to where I started by giving up some of the critical thoughts (critical inner voices) I’ve built up against my partner? Could I start relating more personally and recover my feelings of affection? If, at the end of the day, you decide you have grown distant from your partner for good reason, you may choose to give up the relationship. If you feel you were drawn to your partner for reasons that fit in with your past b…
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…ey are not getting what they are entitled to. This often leads to becoming critical of the partner, focusing on and even exaggerating any of their faults and shortcomings. This kind of judgemental or mean attitude is supported by a person’s critical inner voice. The voice is a self-protective defense that can discourage intimacy by espousing a negative point of view about the person, their partner and their relationship. It attacks the person (Wha…
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…must be acknowledged and challenged whenever they arise. Don’t succumb to critical inner voices about yourself or the people who might make you happy. Don’t be quick to put yourself down or pick your partner apart. Instead, take chances and tune in to how you feel in your heart, instead of tuning in to the running analysis in your head. The online dating world in particular opens up the doorway to meet new people; however, be careful to avoid the…
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…etting what we want. As we get close to someone, we must not listen to the critical inner voice that warns us not to “be a sucker” or “love too much.” This doesn’t mean choosing someone who doesn’t love us at all or staying with someone who mistreats us. Rather, the goal is to develop into a giving person, a loving person. It’s a worthy pursuit to learn to do extra things and go the extra mile to show love. Here are five tips on how to be more lov…
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…of view as our own. This internalized parent is what we refer to as one’s “critical inner voice.” It can feel threatening to separate from the people who we once relied on for care and safety. Yet, by having compassion for our child selves, we can extend this feeling to our children. We can differentiate from our parents’ less desirable attitudes and traits, while maintaining qualities that we admired in them. Once we make the connection between p…
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…and author Dr. Robert Firestone refers to as the Critical Inner Voice. The Critical Inner Voice is created from experiences we had as children that caused us to turn against ourselves and develop negative self-perceptions. When left unchallenged, this inner critic can dictate our lives. A perfect illustration of this takes place in the classic film “Annie Hall.” When a young couple (Annie and Alvie) first meet, an awkward dialogue takes place betw…
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