…f superiority or entitlement. Maybe you’ll act out the same condescending, critical attitudes toward your children. Finally, if growing up with a narcissistic parent made you feel inadequate, perhaps your defense was to sidestep confrontation, to retreat into your shell or to avoid standing out. These adaptations may have made you feel safe in your household, but chances are, these same traits could be hurting you or holding you back as an adult….
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…ttle girl.” Throughout her teen and young adult years, her mother remained critical and emotionally hungry, while her father became distant and rejecting. She felt lost and like she needed to be adorable/ adored in her adult relationships in order to get back the positive reenforcement she had felt from her dad. At the same time, she was incredibly critical of herself and her looks much like her mother had been. Living out her parents’ prescriptio…
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…foster with their criticisms and superior attitudes resonate with your own critical thoughts about yourself? Many people who fall in love with narcissists have issues around co-dependency. They will put up with a certain amount of abuse because they don’t feel confident enough in themselves to set boundaries or be on their own. Understanding your role in the narcissistic relationship is important. You can then start to challenge yourself to change…
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…e aren’t strong enough or that we’ll never succeed. This voice can be self-critical feeding us thoughts like, “You can’t handle this stress. You just don’t have what it takes. You will never amount to anything. Quit dreaming already.” The inner coach can also seem self-soothing, tricking us with thoughts like, “Just take it easy; you don’t have to try this hard. “Watch another episode of that show you like. Going out will just get you down.” In bo…
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…lf-punishing component of the self-parenting process is manifested in self-critical thoughts, guilt reactions, attacks on self, and self-limiting, self-destructive actions. Resistance Once the primary defense is formed and soothing fantasy processes are in place, people are reluctant to relinquish the comfort and safety they offer. Once hurt, they are afraid to be vulnerable again. As a result, they resist intrusion into each component of the fant…
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…your emotions as separate from anyone else’s. Ignore Your Inner Critic The Critical Inner Voice is like a nasty coach that lives inside our heads, waiting for any opportunity to criticize us. Empaths, being sensitive, are vulnerable to these self-critical thoughts. They may think things like, “Why do you feel so much all the time? What’s wrong with you?” or “You’re just too sensitive.” However, it is important not to believe these self-attacks or…
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…nternal dialogue that accompanies our feelings of insecurity known as the “critical inner voice.” By understanding where this critical inner voice comes from and how it feeds our feelings of insecurity, we can come to understand the forces that drive us to put ourselves down. In this presentation, Dr. Firestone will explain therapeutic steps to challenge and overcome the destructive inner critic that limits our lives. She will illustrate the value…
Learn MoreThe Fantasy Bond & Societal Violence Fred Branfman interviews Dr. Robert Firestone about the fantasy bond and societa… What is a Fantasy Bond? Author Tamsen Firestone describes how fantasy bonds can form early in life and g… Experts at Home – Robert Neimeyer on Coping with Grief In this Experts at Home conversation, Dr. Robert Neimeyer joins Dr. Lisa Firesto… Experts at Home: Dr. Katayune Kaeni on the Mental Health of New Parents For people…
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…al Inner Voice Whatever struggles or worries we have about our lives, our “critical inner voice” is always there to turn up the volume. The critical inner voice is a destructive thought process; it operates like a distorted coach inside our heads that spooks us by offering the worst case scenario, putting us down, and fueling us with poor advice. It tells us we won’t accomplish anything. It reminds us that our worries are too big to manage. It enc…
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…hip. Many single men and women feel so overwhelmed by insecurities or self-critical attitudes that they find it hard to even lift their head and look at a person they find attractive. These thoughts make up what my father psychologist Robert Firestone refers to as the “critical inner voice.” This voice is like a commentator in our heads judging our every action. When we look in the mirror, it may start in with, “You’re so unattractive. Look how ou…
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