Search Results for: critical%20inner%20voice

Nourishing Your Resilience in Hard Times

…ut what will make us “feel better.” Part of this is because we all have a “critical inner voice” that doesn’t have our best interest at heart. This “voice” is often at the root of our self-critical thinking as well as our self-limiting or self-destructive behavior. Its commentary can undermine our wants, needs, and personal goals. It can cloud our thinking, even as we try to seek out the things that matter to us and give our days meaning. For exam…

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fear of intimacy

3 Ways to Tell You’re Afraid of Intimacy

…all of us are flawed, but the ways we start to hone in on and become hypercritical toward the flaws in our partner is often the result of our fears around closeness. The “critical inner voice” is the language of our defense system, an internal dialogue that tears us down and often leads us to self-limiting behavior. This “voice” can also focus on our partner. “He’s always so distracted. He’s clearly bored by you,” it may say. “She never cleans up…

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VIDEO: Dr. Allan Schore on the Role of Non-Verbal Communication in Treating Suicidal Patients

…comfortable in the body with them, etc. So positive emotions also would be critical pieces here to boot. But ultimately, in my work, in my understanding, I think that the most difficult affects to hold on to in the counter transference are hopelessness and helplessness. You know, there’s an easy, “Well, you can do this or that or the other thing.” But that’s been this person’s life. This person’s life has been into severe dis-regulation and then y…

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VIDEO: Dr. Allan Schore on Attachment Trauma and Effects of Neglect and Abuse on Brain Development

…r areas of the right brains are more (in) efficient (sic) because in their critical periods, there’s not an optimal situation for their wiring. So I’ve looked very carefully at the effects of relational trauma, to use the term “relational trauma,” also called “attachment trauma.” These are not traumas with the physical environment. These are where the stressor comes from the haven of safety herself. What if the haven of safety, the primary caregiv…

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VIDEO: Dr. Kirk Schneider on How to Experience Life More Fully

…in nature or maybe some time in one’s room, meditating could certainly be critical to that. Travelling, if one has the chance, if one has the chance to do that, keeping a diary of one’s reflections about life could be part of it. Basically dropping some of the routines that have been bogging that person down in life. At the end of Awakening to Awe, I kind of collated critical themes, or I call them lenses, that helped people to cultivate that sen…

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VIDEO: Dr. Peter Levine on Working Through a Personal Traumatic Experience

…ot about the presence that the analyst, the therapist, brings to bear as a critical component, maybe even thecritical component in what happens in the person’s healing. So, you know, there’s a Motown song, it goes something like, “It takes one to stand in the dark alone, it takes two to let the light shine through.” A number of my students have taken this work and developed it in ways that people use it in their own communities so that when there’…

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7 Reasons Most People are Afraid of Love

…of happiness. This coach is shaped from painful childhood experiences and critical attitudes we were exposed to early in life as well as feelings our parents had about themselves. While these attitudes can be hurtful, over time, they have become engrained in us. As adults, we may fail to see them as an enemy, instead accepting their destructive point of view as our own. These critical thoughts or “inner voices” are often harmful and unpleasant, b…

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Effective Methods of Treating Depression

…e, Ph.D. The five steps of Voice Therapy target a person’s inner critic or critical inner voice. This “voice” represents a vicious anti-self that is formed out of negative early life experiences. The anti-self can fuel depression, leading people to experience a cycle of self-criticism and a feeling of worthlessness. The steps of Voice Therapy, involve: Step I: The person identifies the content of his or her negative thought process. He or she is t…

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The Simple Truth about Anger

…hat anger is a healthy emotion, and it is ideal to feel the emotion fully. Critical, vicious thoughts and attitudes are entirely acceptable, morally speaking, whereas actions must be judged on moral grounds, and even a sarcastic or superior tone or an insensitive act can be considered hurtful. In The Ethics of Interpersonal Relationships, I emphasize that it is essential, in terms of our mental health and well-being, to give all of our feelings fr…

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Forgiveness: The Secret to a Healthy Relationship

…ur head that get especially loud when it comes to our relationships. This “critical inner voice” is full of bad advice that interferes with our happiness and tends to criticize us (or our partner) at every turn. It may tell us not to invest in or trust our partner. It may advise us to protect ourselves by not getting too close or to seek revenge when our partner messes up. Once again, these actions are rarely in our own best interest and will only…

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