…ese statements, then write this response next to where you wrote down your critical inner voice attack. For example, if your self-critical thought was, “You’re so stupid,” you may write, “I may struggle in some areas, but I am a capable person with a lot to offer. I am not stupid and have the power to get better at the things I want to improve.” The idea isn’t to boost yourself up with false praise. It is simply to exercise a more honest and compa…
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…ways be a fat cow.” Like the male dancer in the performance I watched, the critical inner voice always plays two roles in an addiction: seducer and punisher. Addictive behaviors represent a direct assault against a person’s physical health and emotional well-being, and they limit one’s ability to pursue meaningful personal goals in life. Therefore, it is important that a therapist help a client to identify the critical inner voices that govern the…
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…ctions will increase our sense of self and weaken this internal enemy, our Critical Inner Voice. Eventually we will feel more comfortable with these new behaviors. With people all over the world fighting for their freedom, what if the most important freedom to fight for is freedom from our own Critical Inner Voice, which limits our lives and undermines our relationships? When we know ourselves, we’re able to make conscious, informed decisions abou…
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…egative events that took place early in life. While the commentary of this critical inner voice might not be pleasant, it is familiar, and unless we challenge it, we carry it stubbornly with us into adulthood. This explains why, in a break-up, instead of just feeling the sadness of losing someone important to us, we are so often determined to turn the rejection against ourselves. Our critical inner voice, which may have been quieted while we were…
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…d gently take the steps that move us closer to our real selves. Unlike the critical inner voice, which disturbs our sense of peace, this “companion” helps us find more peace through the practice of self-compassion. Dr. Kristin Neff, a lead researcher in this field has written of three elements that make up self-compassion: self-kindness, mindfulness, and common humanity. Self-kindness helps us to stop all the self-evaluation and assessment and ins…
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…assuming that the co-worker doesn’t listen to us, that our spouse is being critical or that our child is out of control, we may want to consider that something else is going on inside us that has little to do with them. We tend to be extra sensitive to ways of being treated that hurt us in the past. We may even be looking for or misinterpreting interactions to fit in with an old way of feeling or seeing ourselves that, though painful, can feel com…
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…with storms of self-attack, it is difficult to maintain a sense of hope. A critical inner voice will try to crush your belief that you can become more capable, competent or effective. The chronic assault on hope leads to depression, anxiety disorders and demoralization. In Persuasion and Healing (1991), Jerome Frank, Ph.D., M.D. defines demoralization as “a sense of powerlessness to change oneself or one’s environment.” However, there is hope. By…
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…tions ignited feelings she had experienced in her past with a controlling, critical mother. For him, his sulking was reminiscent of how he reacted to his mother’s frequent tirades. Couples’ interactions are complicated, because partners tend to read a lot of distorted meaning into each other’s words and behavior. That’s because most of us aren’t just dealing with what the other person is saying or doing but with what we’re telling ourselves about…
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…g. We all have what psychologists Robert and Lisa Firestone refer to as a “critical inner voice,” a destructive internal thought process that criticizes and undermines us and, consequently, exacerbates our anxiety. In their book Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice, Drs. Robert and Lisa Firestone describe how this voice can contribute to anxiety. It may, for example, pepper our heads with commentary on everything from our jobs to our relationships. “…
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…small, pushing them away rather than bringing them closer. Recognizing the critical inner voices we listen to and the behaviors we engage in that undermine our goal directed behaviors is the first step. The next step is to think about our goals. What do we need or want? What gives our life meaning? Then we can think about how we can go about achieving our goals. It is helpful to look at the small steps that would get us where we want to go. We sho…
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