Search Results for: critical inner voice

Do You Confuse Admiration with Love? Tales of a Covert Narcissist

…, at this point my therapist recommended that I read Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice, by Robert Firestone, Lisa Firestone and Joyce Catlett. There I learned methods for challenging this compulsion. By working through the journaling exercises, I gradually modified my defensive ways of relating to men, which had included building up a relationship partner, which was a disservice to both of us. Here are some other insights I gained from reading the…

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Five Questions for a Better New Year

…re all susceptible to a destructive thought process known as the “critical inner voice” that detracts from our happiest times. This self-critical thought process critiques us and those close to us, while limiting us in achieving our goals. Surprisingly, these thoughts often arise in our most precious moments. After memorable time spent with a loved one, your partner or your child, for example, what do you take away from that moment? Do you feel ha…

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5 Ways to Fight Loneliness Over the Holidays

…a mess. You don’t fit in anywhere. You’re just different. These “critical inner voices” make up an ongoing dialogue that reinforces the basic belief that we are not good enough. This inner critic makes us feel worthless and unlike others in some negative sense. It encourages us to be alone, then disparages us for being a loner. It contributes to our loneliness by constantly reminding us we are unworthy of the life we desire and by alienating us f…

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What Does the Popularity of 50 Shades of Grey Say About Our Sexuality?

…oughts when they were being sexual. When asked to describe these “critical inner voices” in the second-person, a key step in “voice therapy,” she shouted, “What does he want from you? Don’t let him get too close. He’s just using you. Don’t trust anyone.” These thoughts were confusing to her, because even as she was saying them out loud, they didn’t sound like her point of view. Critical thoughts that arise during sex, whether directed toward ourse…

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Living Mom’s Life?

…and goals that resonate with who we truly want to be (Glendon, 2012). The critical voice in my head has been unknowingly passed down through generations and it will probably never completely disappear, but I can ignore it. More importantly, I can defy it. I can ACTIVELY invest in and empower the qualities that I want to express and demonstrate. In the end, Mal makes the clear choice to be good, and she inspires her friends to stand up and differe…

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What Gets in the Way of You Having an Orgasm?

…etter fake it so you don’t disappoint him.” They also experience “critical inner voices” about their partner that interfere with closeness like: “He’s so clumsy; He’s just not sexy; He can’t make you feel good; He doesn’t care about your pleasure, he only cares about himself.” All of these thoughts undermine a person’s ability to orgasm. They take us out of our bodies and into our heads, one step removed from the physical sensations we may otherwi…

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How to Overcome Insecurity

…insecure Outline therapeutic steps to challenge and overcome the critical inner voice Illustrate the value of practicing self-compassion Present techniques to overcome self-sabotaging behaviors that feed feelings of insecurity Feelings of insecurity often source from early in our lives: attitudes directed toward us, labels we were given, and attachment patterns we experienced. As we grow up, our insecurity is exacerbated by a negative internal di…

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Dealing With Today’s Trauma

…r from feelings of failure. When we are overwhelmed and down, our critical inner voices often flare up and have a lot to say. Because the situations are different than usual, our voice attacks are different from the ones we are used to. In relation to the longer amount of time you are spending alone, you may have these voices: No one misses you. They don’t care about you. No one loves you. About your new work conditions: You’re failing at this. Yo…

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Dr. Robert Firestone: Answering Back To The Voice

…Answering Back To The Voice Answering Back To The Voice

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Be Mine: Dealing with Possessiveness in a Relationship

…to resist the urge to exert power over our partner. We have to ignore that inner voice telling us, “Just don’t talk to her. She needs to know she can’t just work late and expect you to be happy.” Or, “Let him know you won’t stand for this. He better not think he can just goof off every weekend.” 3. Accept that these feelings are from the past – Our anxiety will never ease until we deal with where it’s really coming from. Current events trigger old…

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