…nt of view toward themselves. I often discuss the concept of the “critical inner voice,” a term my father Robert Firestone, Ph.D. and I use to describe a negative self-perception we carry with us in our minds. All of us possess this inner critic, but those of us who are traumatized may experience this “voice” as a deeply destructive and terrifying enemy whose attacks on us can feel crippling and constant and can lead to even life-threatening self-…
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…es with a negative lens. We spend too much time listening to the “critical inner voice” in our heads, which scrutinizes our every move and nags at us with negative thoughts towards ourselves and others. These negative thoughts undermine our confidence and can lead to self-sabotage. Being generous distracts us from the critical inner voice’s barrage of nasty thoughts and creates a strong argument against it as well. When we see someone else benefit…
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…tting aside our own wants and needs. 5. We lose ourselves to our “critical inner voice.” When we are preoccupied by a drive to be “productive” or “helpful,” it’s valuable to look at what’s pushing us. Are we doing what we do because it makes us or people we care about happy? Or are we driven by something else? Many of us have an inner critic that tells us we have to achieve certain objectives to be acceptable or worthy. This harsh internal coach t…
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…al psychologist Robert W. Firestone sets forth his theory of the “critical inner voice,” a self-critical point of view that people have internalized based on hurtful life experiences. During a person’s most vulnerable state of childhood, the pressures of society and destructive interactions within the family can lead them to develop defenses, self-protective thought processes and behaviors that prevent them from achieving the fullest life possible…
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…from playing the role of parent or child. It will interrupt your critical inner voice’s attacks on your partner. The critical inner voice operates as an internal dialogue that supports the defenses that were formed from negative experiences you had as a child. You carry it within you into your relationships. It instills a level of doubt and criticism that keeps you from feeling that you are loveable and reminds you to be suspicious of others. It…
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…or that we can’t control, but what makes matters much worse is a “critical inner voice” we all possess that punishes us unnecessarily and escalates our stress. “How can you sleep? You have so much to do.” “What makes you think you can just relax?” “This is just too much. You can’t handle it.” This voice is a friend to our stress, paving a tunnel for it to pour in and consume our state of mind. Identifying our “inner critic” by noticing when it sta…
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…. Just end it.” These words provide a window into the thoughts or critical inner voices that drive self-destructive behavior. We can all learn from people who survive their suicide attempts. We can come to identify specific self-destructive behaviors that the person is engaging in, which we know from our research are dictated by a critical inner voice. In an effort to increase awareness, I’ve highlighted the following warning signs and examples of…
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…up what my father psychologist Robert Firestone refers to as the “critical inner voice.” This voice is like a commentator in our heads judging our every action. When we look in the mirror, it may start in with, “You’re so unattractive. Look how out of shape you are. No one would be interested in you. Just stay home.” When we go on a date, it may flood our heads with thoughts like, “What are you even talking about? You’re so dull. This is a disaste…
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…played out, the woman was bombarded with destructive thoughts or “critical inner voices” that warned her: You can’t trust him. No one will could ever love YOU. He is going to meet someone else, someone more interesting and attractive. He is too good for you. Don’t let him get away. You’ll never find anyone better. You’re going to be alone. In the meantime, her boyfriend had his own inner critic at work, filling his head with thoughts like: You hav…
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…t Dr. Robert Firestone has referred to as the “anti-self” or the “critical inner voice.” We all possess an “anti-self,” a self-destructive side that tells us we are worthless, undeserving, or even that we shouldn’t exist. We formed this anti-self out of negative early life experiences, painful or traumatic events, and destructive attitudes directed toward us that we internalized. This “anti-self” can drive us to be self-critical, self-hating, or a…
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