Search Results for: critical inner voice

5 Ways to Overcome Your Fear of Love

…, sloughed off a compliment, etc? As we identify the thoughts or “critical inner voices” that filled our heads on these occasions, we can start to recognize themes and recurring behaviors and begin to identify patterns. We can see how our own defenses systematically operate to ward off love. We may notice that we have trouble being acknowledged by our partner or that we feel angry when he or she relies on us. We may feel repelled by a loving look…

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Quiz: How Stressed Are you?

…ing ourselves about our experiences in our minds. In her blog “Silence the Inner Voice That’s Stressing You Out,” psychologist Lisa Firestone states, “Many of us feel concern when we have more things we need to do or want to do than we believe we can get done. Very often, however, we are placing too much pressure on ourselves and setting our expectations too high. In effect we are setting ourselves up, and literally scheduling ourselves out, to ge…

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Can Love be Learned?

…e you love or not to believe that you are cared about. This same “critical inner voice” that turns on us can turn on our partners. Try to be wary of this voice and separate your real feelings from those you may be projecting from old defenses. The more we act on our defenses, the more likely we are to replace the real love we once felt for our partners with a more routinized and dulled manner of relating. We may take the actions associated with be…

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Advice From a Mother of the Bride

…earn more about styles of attachment here. Becoming aware of your critical inner voice and how it impacts your relationship. To varying degrees, we all have an enemy within, a part of ourselves that operates inside our heads in much the same way a malicious coach would, criticizing us and offering up bad advice. The critical inner voice does not support our loving, vulnerable self, but rather our destructive attitudes and behavior. It comments neg…

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Self-Limiting Behaviors

…The anxiety will gradually subside as you adjust to a realistic way of seeing yourself and to achieving genuine success in the real world. Related Articles: What Are Defenses? Critical Inner Voice How to Identify Your Critical Inner Voice Related Books: Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice Creating a Life of Meaning and Compassion  …

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What’s Behind Emotional Overeating?

…lf-hatred and self-protection. All of us have an inner coach, or “critical inner voice,” that lures us into destructive behavior then pounces on us the minute we mess up. The critical inner voice is a driving force behind an eating disorder, and to challenge an unhealthy relationship with food, a person must deal with this internal enemy. We live in a society that supports being slim, sometimes to the extreme. This unrealistic ideal can be used in…

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Are You Hardy Enough?

…te from self-destructive and self-soothing thought processes, or “critical inner voices.” These thoughts talk you out of going after the things you want in life and encourage you to engage in self-defeating, self-destructive behaviors toward yourself and others. The critical inner voice contributes to attitudes and behaviors that are the opposite of hardy, for instance seeing oneself as a helpless victim who has no control over their life and no d…

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The Unselfish Gift of Going on a Retreat

…uary, I am teaching a weekend CE workshop on how to “Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice,” at Esalen in breathtakingly beautiful Big Sur, California. Although I’ll be teaching this workshop, I am also looking forward to connecting with my own sense of who I am, what matters to me, and identifying and overcoming those daily internal dialogues that get in my way. Granted there are always many reasons to stay home to take on those dusty to-do lists, th…

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Take Control of Who You Are in Your Relationship

…ecurities, worries, expectations, or inner critic. We all have a “critical inner voice” commentating on our lives, often fostering harsh attitudes toward ourselves and suspicious attitudes toward others. It can leave us feeling easily criticized or slighted by specific things – thinking someone is angry with us, for example. We put our own spin, interpretation, or projection onto the world around us. Therefore, we often react irrationally. Couples…

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Is Cynicism Ruining Your Life?

…gh the same critical filter through which we see ourselves. This “critical inner voice” is frequently directed at us, telling us we are not good enough or that we are not going to fit in. Yet, the harsh judgment of this inner critic can easily be projected outward onto the people around us. We may start seeing anyone from our closest friend to a distant relative solely for their flaws and fail to have compassion for their own struggles and distrac…

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