Search Results for: critical inner voice

fear of intimacy

3 Ways to Tell You’re Afraid of Intimacy

…r partner is often the result of our fears around closeness. The “critical inner voice” is the language of our defense system, an internal dialogue that tears us down and often leads us to self-limiting behavior. This “voice” can also focus on our partner. “He’s always so distracted. He’s clearly bored by you,” it may say. “She never cleans up after herself even though you’ve asked her to. She obviously doesn’t care about how you feel,” it may chi…

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3 Steps to Sustaining a Loving Relationship

…naturally flow between us and our partner. Pay attention to your critical inner voice. The ideas that swirl around in our heads about relationships tend to pop up in the form of a “critical inner voice.” This “voice” sends us a lot of messages and directions about ourselves, our partner, and our relationships. “Be careful,” it warns. “She’s probably going to leave you. “You don’t need anyone,” it announces. “Just keep your distance.” “He’s too cl…

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Insight into the Violent Mind

…xposing the dynamics involved in acts of aggression and violence. Critical Inner Voices Underlying Violent Behavior The critical inner voice supports an individual’s negative identity, leading to both self-attacks and hostility toward others. This helped me to identify a split in the personality between the self system and the anti-self system. The division of the mind reflects a primary divide between forces that represent the self and those that…

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Overcoming the Destructive Inner Voice: Interview with Robert Firestone

…compassion for those who are suffering and for themselves as well. Lastly I would like them to be entertained and enjoy the stories in their own right. Overcoming The Destructive Inner Voice is now available at all bookstores and online booksellers. To learn more about Robert Firestone www.drrobertwfirestone.com…

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VIDEO: Interview Series with Dr. Christine Courtois

…variety of topics including childhood trauma, complex trauma, the critical inner voice, violence, incest and parenting. YouTube responded with an error: The playlist identified with the request’s <code>playlistId</code> parameter cannot be found. Order the Full DVD Interview: Attachment, Trauma and Dissociation In this DVD, Dr. Christine Courtois draws upon her expertise in the field of trauma to discuss a variety of trauma related topics. Sh…

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The Critical Inner Voice

Evicting the "Obnoxious Roommate" In Your Head

…restone, and my own 30 years of research into the concept of the “critical inner voice.” Like the “obnoxious roommate” described by Arianna, the inner voice represents an internalized critic that we all possess to varying degrees. Although this isn’t an actual voice we hear, the critical inner voice describes destructive thoughts we all experience toward ourselves, as if a critic is living in our heads commenting on our actions. It was this inner…

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relationship fights

Why You Pick Fights with Your Partner… and How to Stop

…te to a partner who’s simply offering feedback. All of us have a “critical inner voice” that’s formed from negative attitudes and interactions in our development. This “voice” is like a cruel internal coach that interprets the world around us, and it can get a lot louder when we’re triggered emotionally. It’s also particularly active when it comes to our closest relationships. It can exacerbate and exaggerate situations, which intensifies our resp…

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Making Changes in the New Year

…ct in our interest. Robert Firestone calls this enemy within the “critical inner voice.” When we take action that reflects the life-affirming part of us, we are also taking action against the critical inner voice. When we stop a negative behavior and enact a positive one in its place, our critical inner voice is threatened and tries to get us back in line. If you conceptualize it as a malicious coach in your head, you can imagine your critical inn…

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excuses to stop making about sex

5 Excuses to Stop Making About Sex

…have found that there are countless, common negative thoughts or “critical inner voices” that cloud that minds of men and women when they have sex. This can be a great distraction during sex. It can even prevent couples from being sexual in the first place. It is important not to let your critical inner voice dictate any part of your life and certainly not rob you of intimacy with your partner. When that coach inside your head is critiquing your a…

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Are You Sabotaging Yourself?

…shing them away rather than bringing them closer. Recognizing the critical inner voices we listen to and the behaviors we engage in that undermine our goal directed behaviors is the first step. The next step is to think about our goals. What do we need or want? What gives our life meaning? Then we can think about how we can go about achieving our goals. It is helpful to look at the small steps that would get us where we want to go. We should check…

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