Search Results for: critical inner voice
Dr. Lisa Firestone Self Articles
…he books: Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships and Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice. Visit her site at www.drlisafirestone.com. Silence the Inner Voice That’s Stressing You Out Millions of Americans struggle with unhealthy levels of stress. Stress isn’t just destructive to our mental health but to our physical health as well. It weakens our immune systems and contributes to heart disease, high blood pressure, strokes, and other illnesses. T…
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Just Be Kind: The Only Relationship Advice You’ll Ever Need
…it forces us to acknowledge our partner as a separate person. The Critical Inner Voice – When we get into relationships there’s a lot of coaching going on in our heads that influences how we treat our partner. Our “critical inner voice” has plenty to say about us and our partner throughout the course of our relationship, particularly when we feel challenged or get scared. “She doesn’t really care about you. You don’t need anyone,” it shouts. “Don’…
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The Many Benefits Of Self-Compassion
…the negative line of thinking it perpetuates, which we call the “critical inner voice.” One exercise we ask people to try is writing down their self-critical thoughts in the second person (i.e. “You are such a loser. You can’t get anything right.”) We then suggest people write down a more realistic and compassionate response to these thoughts, the way one might respond to a friend saying these things about themselves. We ask that people write the…
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The Role of Anger in Depression
…of others. People who suffer with depression often have intense “critical inner voices” that perpetuate feelings of unworthiness and shame. When they listen to this inner critic, they not only feel more depressed, but they also find it much more difficult to stand up to their depression. This includes acting against their critical inner voices, taking positive actions that could help them feel better about themselves (like engaging in activities…
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How to Go “All In” in a Relationship (Without Losing Yourself)
…in order to invest in someone else. We may start to listen to a “critical inner voice” inside our head that critiques potential partners or tells us to hold back. “She likes you too much,” it may say. Or “Don’t trust what he says. He can’t be for real.” This “voice” may give us advice like, “You should just be alone right now.” “Tell her you’re just not the commitment type.” “You should take a break. You’ll wind up getting hurt.” “This will never…
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Suicide and the Critical Inner Voice
…ibution? The answers to both questions are at the heart of Suicide and the Inner Voice. Dr. Firestone believes that the key to understanding suicidal behavior comes from a knowledge of the destructive thought processes of those at risk and an awareness of their origins in early family interactions. He tells us that the negative events in our lives are not nearly as harmful as what we tell ourselves about them. From an understanding of how one begi…
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Why We Won’t Let Ourselves Be Happy
…to set goals or expect too much for ourselves or our lives. This “critical inner voice” is actually triggered when we take steps forward. It reminds us to stay in our place and not to venture out of our comfort zone. The reasons we harbor these dark, self-sabotaging thoughts are complex, but they lie at the root of much of our maladaptive behavior. By understanding why we listen to this critic and take actions that defeat our own well-being, we ca…
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How to Move On
…e on or feel like ourselves again. Silence your inner critic The “critical inner voice” is a term used by Dr. Robert Firestone to describe a negative thought process we all have that is like an internalized nemesis. This cruel “voice” criticizes, coaches, and even pities us (and others) in ways that undermine us when we’re up and kick us when we’re down. A lot of the pain and suffering we experience after a breakup is owed to this inner critic. Co…
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Why Domestic Violence Occurs and How to Stop It
…omestic violence. One involves a destructive thought process (or “critical inner voice“) that abusers experience both toward themselves and their partners, thoughts like “You’re not a man if you don’t control her,” or “She is making a fool out of you.” The other factor involves a harmful illusion of connection between a couple, what my father, psychologist Robert Firestone, has referred to as a “fantasy bond.” This dynamic feeds into a sense that…
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