Search Results for: Robert Firestone

Stop Hating Yourself Once and For All

…iving our lives to the fullest. Voice Therapy is a method developed by Dr. Robert Firestone that helps individuals identify their critical inner voice, understand where it comes from, separate from its point of view and respond to it from a more realistic and compassionate perspective. Challenging self-hatred is a key step to stopping self-limiting or sabotaging behaviors. It opens doors in our lives we didn’t know we’d shut and makes it possible…

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Self-Sabotaging: Why We Get in Our Own Way

…f under Siege: A Therapeutic Model for Differentiation, co-authored by Dr. Robert Firestone, Dr. Lisa Firestone and Joyce Catlett, we describe the four steps involved in differentiation. Step one involves separating from the destructive attitudes (critical inner voices) we internalized based on painful early life experiences. The second step requires us to separate from the negative traits in our parents or influential caretakers that we’ve taken…

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Why We See Ourselves Negatively

…d the critical inner voices in families, father and daughter psychologists Robert and Lisa Firestone, were taken aback by how similar the negative thoughts expressed by parents were to those of their adolescent and adult children. Without hearing each other name their critical inner voices, parents and children would often say almost the exact same things about themselves, sometimes practically word for word. Wherever our self-critical attitudes c…

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Anxious Attachment: Understanding Insecure Anxious Attachment

…with genuine love for their child. In Compassionate Child-Rearing, Robert Firestone describes how parents mistake their feelings of longing and the desire to get love from their child for actual love and concern for the child’s wellbeing. These parents can be over-protective, or try to live vicariously through their child, or be focused on their child’s appearance and performance. They often overstep the personal boundaries of their children by t…

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Voice Therapy: Helping Clients Overcome Their Inner Critic – Online Workshop

…ationships, self-esteem, and career success. This CE Webinar with Dr. Lisa Firestone will provide participants with an overview of Voice Therapy and how they can incorporate it into their practice. Dr. Firestone will explain Separation Theory, a theoretical approach that helps clients understand the developmental roots of their inner critic. In addition to gaining insight into where their inner critic comes from, participants will discover ways to…

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Passionate Love: What is the “spark” and how can we keep it alive?

…tionships even after we’ve truly fallen in love with someone. In fact, Dr. Robert Firestone developed the concept of the fantasy bond to describe an illusion of connection between a couple that is substituted for feelings of real love and intimacy. A fantasy bond forms when a couple replaces the personal relating involved in being in love with the form of being a “couple.” Couples in a fantasy bond tend to fall into routine and forgo their indepen…

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how to move on

How to Move On

…mething that happens after we split up. Often, couples enter into what Dr. Firestone calls a “fantasy bond,” an illusion of connection that replaces real relating and genuine acts of love and intimacy. Symptoms of a fantasy bond can include relating as a unit, valuing the form of being a couple over the substance of making contact, falling into routine, lacking independence, engaging in less affection, and entering into dynamics of control and sub…

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stop projecting

How to “Make” Someone Fall in Love with You

…e essential tips adapted from the work of Dr. Firestone and her father Dr. Robert Firestone, author of The Fantasy Bond. See the person for who he or she is. We can’t really feel loved unless we’re being seen. And we can’t express love unless we’re really seeing someone else. True love has to be true. To love someone, we have to know them. A famous study by Arthur Aron listed a series of personal questions that can produce intimacy and closeness b…

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How to Be Confident

…that hurt us but feel familiar, as if they’re part of our identity. As Dr. Firestone put it in his blog “How to Befriend Yourself:” The enemy within can be thought of as a negative identity. This negative identity is a byproduct of negative ways you were labeled as a child, the negative attitudes toward yourself that you incorporated from any mistreatment you were exposed to and the defensive strategies that you formed to cope with psychological p…

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Self-Loathing

…e were somehow bad, inadequate, or desperately needing to prove otherwise. Robert Firestone’s most recent work, Overcoming the Destructive Inner Voice – True Stories of Therapy and Transformation, is a book of short stories in which he relates various therapeutic experiences from his career. Self-loathing seems to be an underlying theme among many of these very personal narratives. Particularly the chapter entitled The Uninvited, in which Dr. Fire…

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