…d the critical inner voices in families, father and daughter psychologists Robert and Lisa Firestone, were taken aback by how similar the negative thoughts expressed by parents were to those of their adolescent and adult children. Without hearing each other name their critical inner voices, parents and children would often say almost the exact same things about themselves, sometimes practically word for word. Wherever our self-critical attitudes c…
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…of many couples’ problems. In Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships, Dr. Robert W. Firestone and his coauthors explore the dimensions of healthy sexuality and love. Drawing on their 40 years of combined clinical experience and a unique longitudinal study of couples and families, they propose that sexual problems are largely related to defenses acquired through painful childhood experiences. They describe the effects of the core defense, that is,…
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…that often arise from this therapeutic technique. Podcast: Play in new window | Download Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Stitcher | TuneIn | RSS…
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…n we reduce our self-consciousness? 1. Stand up to your inner critic Dr.’s Robert and Lisa Firestone have written extensively about how to overcome your critical inner voice. The steps include: Identifying your specific voices Reflecting on where these negative thoughts may have originated Responding to your inner critic with a realistic, compassionate point of view Understanding how your voices influence your behavior Challenging self-limiting or…
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…e were somehow bad, inadequate, or desperately needing to prove otherwise. Robert Firestone’s most recent work, Overcoming the Destructive Inner Voice – True Stories of Therapy and Transformation, is a book of short stories in which he relates various therapeutic experiences from his career. Self-loathing seems to be an underlying theme among many of these very personal narratives. Particularly the chapter entitled The Uninvited, in which Dr. Fire…
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…e essential tips adapted from the work of Dr. Firestone and her father Dr. Robert Firestone, author of The Fantasy Bond. See the person for who he or she is. We can’t really feel loved unless we’re being seen. And we can’t express love unless we’re really seeing someone else. True love has to be true. To love someone, we have to know them. A famous study by Arthur Aron listed a series of personal questions that can produce intimacy and closeness b…
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…ationships, self-esteem, and career success. This CE Webinar with Dr. Lisa Firestone will provide participants with an overview of Voice Therapy and how they can incorporate it into their practice. Dr. Firestone will explain Separation Theory, a theoretical approach that helps clients understand the developmental roots of their inner critic. In addition to gaining insight into where their inner critic comes from, participants will discover ways to…
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…tionships even after we’ve truly fallen in love with someone. In fact, Dr. Robert Firestone developed the concept of the fantasy bond to describe an illusion of connection between a couple that is substituted for feelings of real love and intimacy. A fantasy bond forms when a couple replaces the personal relating involved in being in love with the form of being a “couple.” Couples in a fantasy bond tend to fall into routine and forgo their indepen…
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…mething that happens after we split up. Often, couples enter into what Dr. Firestone calls a “fantasy bond,” an illusion of connection that replaces real relating and genuine acts of love and intimacy. Symptoms of a fantasy bond can include relating as a unit, valuing the form of being a couple over the substance of making contact, falling into routine, lacking independence, engaging in less affection, and entering into dynamics of control and sub…
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…with genuine love for their child. In Compassionate Child-Rearing, Robert Firestone describes how parents mistake their feelings of longing and the desire to get love from their child for actual love and concern for the child’s wellbeing. These parents can be over-protective, or try to live vicariously through their child, or be focused on their child’s appearance and performance. They often overstep the personal boundaries of their children by t…
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