Coping with Grief
…to do the same. If you’re interested in the subject of coping with grief during Covid-19, I strongly recommend this webinar with Dr. Robert Neimeyer. You can learn more here….
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A Happy Couple Makes for Happy Kids
…ast annual American Psychological Association meeting in which researchers Robert Epstein and Shannon Fox examined the top 10 most effective “parenting competencies” associated with children’s health, success in school, happiness, and their relationship with their parent. Coming in 3rd in the list was “Relationship Skills” or the ability of the parents to maintain a happy relationship with their spouse as well as other people; 1st and 2nd were “Lo…
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Is Being Proud of Your Kids Really about You?
…an attempt to be connected to the accomplishment. My father, psychologist Robert Firestone, has developed the concept of a “fantasy bond” to help parents understand their exaggerated desire to connect with their children. A fantasy bond describes an illusion of fusion between two people that replaces real love and relating. This bond can create a false sense of security, however it can also impair the child’s budding individuality and actual sens…
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Low Self-Esteem: What Does it Mean to Lack Self-Esteem?
…n ways that we regret and may deplore.” This harsh inner critic, which Dr. Robert Firestone refers to as the Critical Inner Voice, contributes to a negative perceived self. Having a negative perception of oneself can have serious consequences. For example, if someone believes that other people don’t like them, they are more likely to avoid interactions with others and are quicker to react defensively, cynically, or even lash out. Rosenberg and Owe…
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How to Beat the 5 Types of Boredom that Arise in Relationships
…entering into a fantasy bond. A fantasy bond is a concept conceived by Dr. Robert Firestone to describe how couples enter into an “illusion of fusion” that places the form of being a couple over the substance of being in love. When a couple enters a fantasy bond, they stop engaging in certain loving actions and behaviors that show respect for the other person as a separate individual, i.e. listening, making eye contact, showing affection, supporti…
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Cynical About Relationships: Is Cynicism Ruining Your Love Life?
…ould argue that what’s fueling this cynical attitude is what my father Dr. Robert Firestone calls our “critical inner voice.” The critical inner voice describes a negative thought process we all experience to different degrees that harshly criticizes us and others. For many of us, this voice gets loudest when it comes to our romantic life. Our critical inner voices can act as a barrier to getting close to someone else. Like the world’s worst match…
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Creating a More Positive Identity
…t. So, how can we separate from this identity? Together with my father Dr. Robert Firestone, who developed Voice Therapy, we’ve collectively written and produced dozens of books, blogs, films, articles, Webinars, workshops, and studies, discussing what works in relation to overcoming this inner critic. Recently, when talking to my father about the critical inner voice and identity, he brought up an important component to continuously resist the in…
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Cultural Stereotypes of Men and Women
…things which, if you thought about for two minutes, you wouldn’t say. Lisa Firestone: It makes men and women out to be enemies in a lot of situations too which really ends up interfering in relationships. CG: Not to mention how it, you know, [is] costing the world. But the other one is that, “Men have selves and women have relationships,” when, again, if you think about it for a minute, if you don’t have a self or a voice, you’re not in relationsh…
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Feminism and Patriarchy
…ou have to go back to say wait a minute, that’s not what feminism is. Lisa Firestone: Yeah, I think you have to define what patriarchy really is too in a way because I think that people think that patriarchy is just being, you know, men feeling like they’re in charge or you know— CG: Well you think of patriarchy, yes the sort of misunderstanding is [that it is] sort of men’s oppression of women, but, in fact, here’s where the psychological work is…
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Our Human Capacity for Emotional Honesty
Lisa Firestone: It seems like part of what you’re talking about is honesty. Carol Gilligan: Yes, that’s a good name for it. I mean emotional honesty, intellectual honesty, yes, absolutely, Lisa. That’s exactly right. LF: Because honesty doesn’t necessarily mean saying everything you think every moment but knowing what you think and letting yourself see what you see. CG: And discovering, you know, what you really think and at least knowing that. T…
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