Search Results for: Robert Firestone

5 Most Important Relationship Resolutions

…. A “Fantasy Bond” is a term coined by my father, psychologist and author, Robert Firestone. It describes an illusion of fusion that couples form that replaces real love. When two people start to fall in love, they see each other as independent individuals. They appreciate and respect the other person for who they are, separate from themselves. As time passes, however, they may replace these feelings of love for a sense of safety and security by s…

Learn More
fear of intimacy

3 Ways to Tell You’re Afraid of Intimacy

…ainful emotions. As my father, psychologist and author of Fear of Intimacy Robert Firestone wrote, “Most people have a fear of intimacy and at the same time are terrified of being alone.” This can create a lot of confusion, as a person’s ambivalence can cause a real push and pull in their behavior. So, how can you identify if your own fear of intimacy is getting in the way of love? 1. Your Actions Don’t Match Your Intentions For some people, their…

Learn More

Are You Addicted to Your Relationship?

…ituations is that they have formed what my father, psychologist and author Robert Firestone, termed a “fantasy bond,” a largely subconscious connection with their partner in which they feel like they are not complete without the other person. This illusion of connection fosters a sense of safety or security that exacerbates the feeling of need toward the other person. However, when in a fantasy bond, the couple tends to favor the form over the sub…

Learn More

Is Social Media to Blame for the Rise in Narcissism?

…effect on our kids. In our recent book The Self Under Siege, my father Dr. Robert Firestone and I write about the importance of parents encouraging their children to have a true sense of self. In order for children to feel secure and confident in themselves, it is essential for parents to distinguish emotional hunger from real love. Real parental love includes warmth, affection and attunement to a child’s needs, as well as offering the child guida…

Learn More

Why Can’t You Move on From Your Relationship?

…oncept developed by my father, author of Challenging the Fantasy Bond, Dr. Robert Firestone. He describes it as an illusion of connection between a couple where the form of being united replaces the substance of treating each other with love and kindness. In a fantasy bond, a lot of healthy relating is sacrificed for an illusion of security, an idea that the couple is fused in some way that can make them lose a sense of their individual identity….

Learn More

The Destructive Ways We Self-Parent as Adults

…istress. A “fantasy bond” was termed by my father, psychologist and author Robert Firestone, to describe a core defense mechanism that helped us maintain a sense of safety and security at times when we experienced overwhelming frustration, hurt, or even terror. For an infant, the fantasy of being merged with a caretaker can reduce feelings of hunger and frustration. This illusion of connection can serve as a compensation for inadequacies in their…

Learn More

4 Reasons to Take Ownership of Your Feelings

…rcy of our parents. In discussing this, my father, psychologist and author Robert Firestone, wrote, “Later as an adult, things happen that are sometimes beyond your control and understanding. However, the adult who is still playing the child victim role… just keeps noticing over and over that the situation is unreasonable, unfair or threatening but doesn’t make the appropriate adaptive responses.” 3. It stops us from digging deeper. Your biggest e…

Learn More

The Perfect ‘Imperfect’ Relationship

…intimacy” is a concept elaborated on by my father, psychologist and author Robert Firestone, in his book Fear of Intimacy. Because all relationships are likely to challenge us, the best relationship advice I can give is to find someone you really like and invest in that relationship. Stop looking for the perfect partner and start focusing on what you need to address within yourself in order to achieve a more ideal romance. A relationship is one of…

Learn More

Protected: When Grief Goes Viral: Video and Resources

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Learn More

Staying in Love While Staying Yourself

…s who we are. When a couple enters what my father, psychologist and author Robert Firestone, terms a “Fantasy Bond,” they start to replace substantive, loving actions with the form of being a couple. The practicalities and routines remain, but the liveliness starts to fizzle. To avoid this fantasy connection, it’s important to keep taking loving actions that our partner would experience as loving, to continue to be affectionate, make eye contact,…

Learn More