Search Results for: Robert Firestone

VIDEO: Mindfulness as a Psychology of Being

In her interview with PsychAlive Senior Editor Lisa Firestone, Dr. Donna Rockwell talks about mindfulness as a psychology of being. Lisa Firestone: So, you’ve talked about Buddhism in relation to mindfulness. Do you see mindfulness as inherently as part of Buddhism? Donna Rockwell: Yeah. I don’t, I never really felt that even Buddhism was a religion as much as a way to live awake, you know, they say we’re falling asleep if we just let our minds d…

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Getting the Love You Want

…onally familiar? In the research and clinical work my father, psychologist Robert Firestone, and I have done, we have found that people tend to recreate their past in the present. We often accomplish this by selecting, distorting, or provoking our partners to fit with old dynamics and reaffirm negative feelings we’ve long had about ourselves. Selection – Our initial attractions can be tricky, because sometimes the very thing that compels us toward…

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Should You Feel or Flee Your Emotions?

…mstances, but they can go on to hurt us in our adult lives. My father, Dr. Robert Firestone, in his comprehensive theory of human behavior, Separation Theory, contends that the core conflict for all human beings is whether to live a life of feeling or to attempt to suppress our feelings in an effort to block out pain, from both interpersonal relationships and from existential issues. The problems that arise from attempting to deny our pain are man…

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You Don’t Really Know Yourself

…bility. Nevertheless, working through these issues is a worthwhile endeavor because it enables a person to live a full and integrated life. Read more about Voice Therapy in Robert Firestone’s forthcoming book, Overcoming the Destructive Inner Voice: True Stories of Therapy and Transformation….

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Are You Living with an Accidental Identity?

…lives. In a recent interview I did with my father, psychologist and author Robert Firestone, he elaborated on how an individual forms a sense of identity. He described how from the moment children are born, they start to be defined by their parents, and they incorporate painful experiences. While most parents have the best intentions for their children, no parent (or person) is perfect. Often, without realizing it, parents make inaccurate projecti…

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What Drives Our Loneliness?

…d somewhat emotionally deadened way of being and living,“ wrote my father, Robert Firestone, in a book we co-authored Creating a Life of Meaning and Compassion. Individuals build certain psychological defenses to adapt to their early environment that can hurt or limit them in their current lives. These defenses can lead to feelings of alienation, isolation, and depression. To truly face and fight our loneliness, we have to look inside at these dee…

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Why We Won’t Let Ourselves Be Happy

…past. Breaking a point of identity can shatter what my father psychologist Robert Firestone’s described as a “fantasy bond,” which we experienced with influential figures in our upbringing. Even a parent who was hurtful to us in many ways was someone we once depended on for survival. Therefore, it may have been more favorable to maintain a fantasy that we were connected to them in some way that’s frightening to break later in life. Recent studies…

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The Perfect ‘Imperfect’ Relationship

…intimacy” is a concept elaborated on by my father, psychologist and author Robert Firestone, in his book Fear of Intimacy. Because all relationships are likely to challenge us, the best relationship advice I can give is to find someone you really like and invest in that relationship. Stop looking for the perfect partner and start focusing on what you need to address within yourself in order to achieve a more ideal romance. A relationship is one of…

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Why Some Men Give Up Their Identity in a Relationship

…at is vital, independent, and attractive to the other person. Writer, poet Robert Bly, offered insight into this phenomenon. He observed from his work with men that many boys growing up are more sensitive and able to care about their partner’s feelings and health. They are better at sharing in domestic responsibilities such as childcare and household chores. They may be more emotionally attentive to others, and yet, they’re not always in tune with…

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How Embracing Vulnerability Strengthens Our Relationships

…unwilling to be vulnerable hurts our connections to others. My father, Dr. Robert Firestone, often refers to the inner dialogue that personifies these psychological defenses as our “critical inner voice.” The critical inner voice is a destructive thought process that acts like an internal parent and tends to assess, judge, undermine, and insult us as we move through our lives. “Don’t show her who you really are. She’d want nothing to do with you,”…

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