…red into a “Fantasy Bond,” a term developed by psychologist and author Dr. Robert Firestone to describe an illusion of connection created between two people that helps alleviate their individual fears by forging a false sense of connection. A fantasy bond is toxic to a relationship because it replaces real feelings of love and support with a desire to fuse identities and operate as a unit. As the couple relates as a “we” instead of a “you” and “me…
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…e in, what psychologist and Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships author, Robert Firestone calls a “fantasy bond.” A fantasy bond replaces real acts of love and affection toward your partner with an illusion of connection. In a fantasy bond, a couple may operate as a unit, seeing themselves as safely joined, yet their relating becomes a matter of form and routine. No longer do they show much passion, love or respect for each other. Instead, they…
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…hey impact our careers, relationships and our goals in life. My father Dr. Robert Firestone describes this process of differentiation, as a four-step method for freeing yourself from past prescriptions and becoming who you really are. On June 4, I will host a free Webinar “Becoming the Real You” to further explore this complex subject. I will discuss the steps of differentiation and describe key principles to keep in mind when embarking on this ch…
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…onship.” In his blog “Alive Sexuality,” my father, psychologist and author Robert Firestone, described the cause of this shift that so often takes place in intimate relationships. Most people view their mutual patterns of withholding and their diminished sexual attraction to each other as part of the normal course of events and mistakenly place the blame on the familiarity, routine, and daily contact inherent to a committed relationship. In truth,…
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…th our needs than those of our children. My father psychologist and author Robert Firestone often talks about the concept of emotional hunger versus love. In a book co-authored by my father and myself, The Self Under Siege, we describe emotional hunger as follows: Emotional hunger may be expressed in anxious over-concern, over-protection, living vicariously through one’s child, or an intense focus on appearances. Parents who behave in this manner…
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…For 30 years I have studied, along with my father, psychologist and author Robert Firestone, the roots of the critical inner voice. He developed “voice therapy” as a way for people to identify and separate from this inner critic by understanding the origins of the critical inner voice and then taking actions to go against it, actions that are goal directed and that represent a person’s true point of view. The steps involved in this therapy process…
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…f my family and friends, understanding the brilliant and necessary work of Robert Firestone and most recently, delving into Earnest Becker’s book The Denial of Death, I have come to fully appreciate, and have more compassion for, the horrific truth we as humans face. From the moment we are brought into this world, we instinctively do what we have to in order to survive physically and emotionally. Like the fences we build around our homes and our c…
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…he real connection two people naturally share. My father, psychologist Dr. Robert Firestone, coined the term “The Fantasy Bond” to describe an illusion of connection that many people cling to in relationships. In article I wrote for PsychAlive.org, I described the difference between real love and a fantasy bond. A fantasy bond is created when two people replace real acts of genuine love, admiration, passion, and respect with the role and ritual of…
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by Robert W. Firestone, Ph.D. Joyce Catlett, M.A. Beyond Death Anxiety: Achieving Life-Affirming Death Awareness assists mental health practitioners in helping their clients learn to accept and face their mortality. They describe the many defenses of death anxiety, and suggest methods to cope directly with fears of death; an approach that, ironically, can lead to a greater appreciation of life. This book examines the many destructive consequences…
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by Robert W. Firestone, Ph.D. Foreword by R.D. Laing, M.D. Based on 28 years of research into the problem of resistance, this book offers a consistently developed set of hypotheses centering around the concept of the “fantasy bond,” an illusion of connection originally formed with the mother and later with significant others in the individual’s environment. The book develops the concept of the core defense of the “fantasy bond” and describes the…
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