…n move beyond our limitations and reach out to children in a way that will spare them so much unnecessary suffering . . . this book is dedicated to parents: the lost children.” –Robert W. Firestone 1990, New York: Plenum Publishing/Insight Books 1999, Santa Barbara: The Glendon Association ISBN: 0967668425…
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…A “fantasy bond” is a concept developed by my father, psychologist Robert Firestone. When a fantasy bond develops real acts of love and relating are gradually replaced by the form of being in a relationship. When two people rely on each other to feel whole, they lose themselves in the process, forgoing independence, and often attraction, in the interest of feeling safe as part of a united couple. Sadly, the way they treat each other starts to det…
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…ts to live, pursue goals and experience life and what my father Dr. Robert Firestone calls the “anti-self,” which seeks to isolate us, cut us off from feeling and even obliterate or destroy us. Our anti-self aims to protect us from the natural pain or fear that comes from caring about or investing in life, but it winds up limiting and hurting us in countless ways, for instance, by steering us toward addiction. When we indulge the notion that we ca…
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…ual within a family is something my father, psychologist and author Robert Firestone, has described as a “human rights violation.” He’s written extensively about the toll interpersonal pain and traumatic childhood conditions can have on a person’s freedom and expression of individuality, including that they lead to the formation of powerful psychological defenses. “No child is born bad or sinful; rather, the psychological defenses that children fo…
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…right in the brain.” Daring to Love, Move Beyond Fear of Intimacy, Embrace Vulnerability and Create Lasting Connection Tamsen Firestone with Robert Firestone, Ph.D. New Harbinger Publications, 2018…
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…ctions adapted from: Daring to Love, Move Beyond Fear of Intimacy, Embrace Vulnerability and Create Lasting Connection Tamsen Firestone with Robert Firestone, Ph.D. New Harbinger Publications, 2018…
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…In this thought-provoking book, clinical psychologist and theorist Robert Firestone explains how the fantasy bond, an illusion of connection, develops early in childhood to cope with the pain and frustration resulting from parental misattunement, neglect, or mistreatment. It is manifested as a destructive internal thought process, the critical inner voice. Later, the fantasy bond is extended to family members, intimate partners, and social groups…
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…wing on research from attachment theory as well as her and her father, Dr. Robert Firestone’s, concepts of the “critical inner voice” and “selection, distortion, and provocation,” she will explain why people are subconsciously driven to recreate dynamics from their past. Whether by choosing partners who make them feel old, familiar ways, repeating negative patterns they witnessed or experienced, or playing out half of a destructive dynamic, people…
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…was introduced by psychologist and author of The Fantasy Bond, Dr. Robert Firestone. In his book, Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice, Dr. Firestone explains the fantasy bond as follows: Generally speaking, the single most important factor that contributes to the deterioration of love and friendship in a relationship is the formation of a fantasy bond. People who develop this type of destructive bond often deceive themselves and each other by imagi…
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…paration Theory was developed by my father, psychologist and author Robert Firestone. The theory illustrates how damaging early childhood experiences in combination with existential awareness lead people to develop psychological defenses. Defenses that were appropriate to actual situations that originally threatened a person’s emerging self, e.g. the rejection, neglect, emotional hunger, or abuse of a parent, go on to hurt or limit a person’s sens…
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