Search Results for: Robert Firestone

Breaking Free From Bad Relationship Patterns

…wing on research from attachment theory as well as her and her father, Dr. Robert Firestone’s, concepts of the “critical inner voice” and “selection, distortion, and provocation,” she will explain why people are subconsciously driven to recreate dynamics from their past. Whether by choosing partners who make them feel old, familiar ways, repeating negative patterns they witnessed or experienced, or playing out half of a destructive dynamic, people…

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Compassionate Child-Rearing: An In-Depth Approach to Optimal Parenting

…n move beyond our limitations and reach out to children in a way that will spare them so much unnecessary suffering . . . this book is dedicated to parents: the lost children.” –Robert W. Firestone 1990, New York: Plenum Publishing/Insight Books 1999, Santa Barbara: The Glendon Association ISBN: 0967668425…

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Are You Sabotaging Your Relationship?

…a tendency to form a “fantasy bond,” a term coined by my father Dr. Robert Firestone. The fantasy bond is a defense that allows us to feel as if we’ve joined with another person. This illusion of fusion can make us feel safe and secure, but it actually undermines our most vital feelings of love. What happens when people retreat into fantasy is that they let the form of the relationship replace the substance. They start to relate as a unit, present…

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Where Does Our Love Go?

…n and spontaneity. This process is what psychologist and author Dr. Robert Firestone describes as the “fantasy bond.” A fantasy bond is established when real love, respect and camaraderie is replaced by an illusion of connection; when the substance of the relationship is replaced by the form. Couples are rarely aware of this transition, they just find themselves one day wondering where their love has gone. To understand why a fantasy bond is forme…

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How to Find Your Happiness

…process of differentiation developed by my father, psychologist Dr. Robert Firestone. I explain these steps in more detail in my blog, “Becoming Your Real Self,” however to summarize they involve: Separating from destructive attitudes that were directed toward us that we’ve internalized Differentiating from negative traits of our parents and influential caretakers Breaking free of the old defenses that we built to cope with negative childhood even…

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Accepting Our Anger During the Pandemic

…right in the brain.” Daring to Love, Move Beyond Fear of Intimacy, Embrace Vulnerability and Create Lasting Connection Tamsen Firestone with Robert Firestone, Ph.D. New Harbinger Publications, 2018…

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Are You Single for the Right Reasons?

…find attractive. These thoughts make up what my father psychologist Robert Firestone refers to as the “critical inner voice.” This voice is like a commentator in our heads judging our every action. When we look in the mirror, it may start in with, “You’re so unattractive. Look how out of shape you are. No one would be interested in you. Just stay home.” When we go on a date, it may flood our heads with thoughts like, “What are you even talking abo…

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The Value of Sadness

…what gives our life meaning. As my father, psychologist and author Robert Firestone, has pointed out, “When we feel sadness, it centers us.” In general, when we recognize our emotions and allow ourselves to feel them in a healthy and safe capacity, we feel more grounded, more ourselves and even more resilient. On the contrary, suppressing emotions can actually make us feel more depressed. So, what are we really avoiding when we cut off our sadnes…

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What Inside Out Can Teach us about Loving our Kids

…ed mood was not a coincidence. Within the large body of work by Dr. Robert Firestone, he has written extensively about the importance of feeling emotions. In the film, Coping with the Fear of Intimacy, he remarks on the irony of people’s fear of sadness, noting that, in his experience, they always feel better when they feel the sadness and get it out. As Firestone says, “Sadness tends to center people” (2000). Joseph Forgas of the Greater Good Sci…

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thanksgiving good for mental health

Thanksgiving is Good for Your Mental Health

…ctions adapted from: Daring to Love, Move Beyond Fear of Intimacy, Embrace Vulnerability and Create Lasting Connection Tamsen Firestone with Robert Firestone, Ph.D. New Harbinger Publications, 2018…

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