Search Results for: Robert Firestone

5 Ways Working on Ourselves Can Benefit Our Kids

…children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.” – Robert Fulghum A lot of people marvel at how parenting has changed over the years. Some mock how it’s become so much more hands-on and child-centered. “We grew up like wild dogs in the ‘60s,” joked Jerry Seinfeld in a recent stand-up routine. “No helmets, no seat belts, no restraints. Anything came to a stop, we just flew through the air. I was either eating 100% sugar, or…

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Getting the Love You Want

…onally familiar? In the research and clinical work my father, psychologist Robert Firestone, and I have done, we have found that people tend to recreate their past in the present. We often accomplish this by selecting, distorting, or provoking our partners to fit with old dynamics and reaffirm negative feelings we’ve long had about ourselves. Selection – Our initial attractions can be tricky, because sometimes the very thing that compels us toward…

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5 Most Important Relationship Resolutions

…. A “Fantasy Bond” is a term coined by my father, psychologist and author, Robert Firestone. It describes an illusion of fusion that couples form that replaces real love. When two people start to fall in love, they see each other as independent individuals. They appreciate and respect the other person for who they are, separate from themselves. As time passes, however, they may replace these feelings of love for a sense of safety and security by s…

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avoidant attachment

Do You or Your Partner Have an Avoidant Attachment Pattern?

…g a form of emotional neglect. They’re missing what my father psychologist Robert Firestone has called “love food,” a form of attuned emotional nourishment and parental warmth that they need to thrive, particularly in their first year. In its absence, the child may learn that the best way to deal with their frustration at not having their needs met is to act like they don’t have any. As Dr. Daniel Siegel put it, the child learns to disconnect from…

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Why Millennials Are So Lonely

…has it in for us. The language of this inner critic is what my father Dr. Robert Firestone has long referred to as the “critical inner voice.” This voice is like a sadistic internalized coach or commentator. It is always there to critique, punish, and undermine us. In many ways, it is a lens through which we filter our experience, and it is very much a contributor to our loneliness. It puts us down in relation to others, makes us feel awkward or…

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How to Beat the 5 Types of Boredom that Arise in Relationships

…entering into a fantasy bond. A fantasy bond is a concept conceived by Dr. Robert Firestone to describe how couples enter into an “illusion of fusion” that places the form of being a couple over the substance of being in love. When a couple enters a fantasy bond, they stop engaging in certain loving actions and behaviors that show respect for the other person as a separate individual, i.e. listening, making eye contact, showing affection, supporti…

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How Standing Up for Yourself Helps You Fight Depression

…depression means taking on this inner voice or “anti-self.” My father, Dr. Robert Firestone, created Voice Therapy as a therapeutic approach to conquer your critical inner voice, and in our book of that tile, which I co-authored with my father, we discuss specific ways people can start to challenge this inner enemy. Here are some of the valuable steps that can help people to start to recognize and counter these destructive thought processes. 1. Id…

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Mental Health Apps: A Therapist in Your Pocket!

…econd section includes two video interviews with mental health experts Dr. Robert Woliver and Dr. Michael Britt, both of whom have created highly successful apps. The third section includes a case study with information on laypeople’s experience using mental health apps. The final section includes a detailed resource list with app examples for a variety of issues, and articles for further reading. *May fulfill pre-licensing and/or license renewal…

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Coping with Grief

…to do the same. If you’re interested in the subject of coping with grief during Covid-19, I strongly recommend this webinar with Dr. Robert Neimeyer. You can learn more here….

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How to Tell if You’re in the Wrong Relationship

…rs are all characteristics of relating in a fantasy bond as my father, Dr. Robert Firestone delineated in his couples interaction chart, which contrasts relating in an ideal relationship to relating in a fantasy bond. Okay, now before you panic, everyone typically engages in some of these behaviors some of the time. We are human. We are flawed. And most of us, to varying degrees, are actually intolerant or afraid of love. As you investigate your r…

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