Search Results for: Linda Firestone

How To Tell the Difference Between Real Love and Fantasy

…ting from the deadening effects of what my father, psychologist Dr. Robert Firestone, termed “The Fantasy Bond?” A fantasy bond is created when two people replace real acts of genuine love, admiration, passion, and respect with the role and ritual of “being” in a relationship. Though this process is often unconscious, people can begin to recognize patterns and behaviors characterized by a Fantasy Bond that are destructive to their closest relation…

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The Real Reason You’re Not Married

…rsonal relationships, both I and my father, psychologist and author Robert Firestone, Ph.D., have closely followed hundreds of clients and case studies of couples. In our research we have found overwhelming consistency in certain behavioral patterns that systematically sabotage real intimacy. First off, the search for a partner to whom we feel a real attraction and deep connection is a challenge that it would be foolish to underestimate. The idea…

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Sabotage You

…ritical Inner Voice, a concept generated by my father, psychologist Robert Firestone, is formed early in life during stressful and traumatic events. Just as positive childhood experiences lead to confidence, ability and optimism, negative experiences lead us to low self-esteem, self-destructive behaviors and pessimism. The Critical Inner Voice thus describes a dynamic operating within each of us that causes us to relive rather than live our life….

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The Critical Inner Voice

Evicting the "Obnoxious Roommate" In Your Head

…the parallels between Arianna’s inspiring message and my father’s, Robert Firestone, and my own 30 years of research into the concept of the “critical inner voice.” Like the “obnoxious roommate” described by Arianna, the inner voice represents an internalized critic that we all possess to varying degrees. Although this isn’t an actual voice we hear, the critical inner voice describes destructive thoughts we all experience toward ourselves, as if…

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Why Are You Avoiding Intimacy?

…evel our defenses are being threatened. According to my father, Dr. Robert Firestone, author of Fear of Intimacy, there are many reasons our fears around relationships get ignited, but here are five primary sources.   1. Real love makes us feel vulnerable. Stepping into the unknown (especially something that makes us feel different about ourselves) can be inherently frightening.   2. New love stirs up past hurts. Sadly, being loved in a way we hav…

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Parents and Self-esteem

Your Child’s Self Esteem Starts With You

…-perception, and helps them to develop what my father, psychologist Robert Firestone, and I have defined as the “Self-System.” The Self System describes the unique make-up of the individual that exists inherently, which is then informed by a harmonious identification with and incorporation of a parent’s positive attitudes and traits. When parents feel good about themselves, they are much better able to extend this positive sense of self to their c…

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The Fantasy Bond, fear of intimacy, psychalive, the glendon association

The Fantasy Bond

…The question of why love fades can be explained by the concept of the fantasy bond. Dr. Lisa Firestone helps us understand how and why this form of relating hurts our intimate relationships….

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Why We Keep Making the Same Bad Choices

…How often find do we find ourselves choosing the same type of partner or winding up in the same seemingly unworkable relationship? Dr. Lisa Firestone explains some of the reasons we make the choices we do, and how this impacts the dynamics in our relationships. Are we choosing the wrong person, or are we sabotaging our chance to get what we really want?…

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CE Webinar – Love in the Age of Twitter

Presenters: Dr. Pat Love and Dr. Lisa Firestone Price: $15 Length: 90 Minutes 1.5 CE Credits available for an additional $15 purchase It’s not your imagination, 21st Century love relationships are more difficult to maintain. While 90 percent of young people still say that marriage is in their long-term plans, if trends continue, only half will be able to even come close to that goal. Relationships in general and marriage in particular, is more di…

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Why Are People Afraid to Grow Up?

…a mature approach to life and move toward a more satisfying and freer existence. This subject will be addressed in my next blog. Learn about Dr. Robert Firestone’s book The Self under Siege: A Therapeutic Model for Differentiation…

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