Search Results for: Linda Firestone

Why Layoffs Lead to New Lows in Self-Esteem

…conflict in relation to our goals and aspirations in life,” said Dr. Lisa Firestone, psychologist and co-author of Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice. “On the one hand, we have feelings of warm self-regard, and traits and behaviors that we like or feel comfortable with in ourselves. We have natural tendencies to grow and develop and to pursue our personal and vocational goals, …to be close in our relationships and to search for meaning in life. Th…

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The Over-Parenting Syndrome

…use they (the parents) feel connected to them through a process Dr. Robert Firestone calls the fantasy bond. In this imagined connection with their children, parents partly relieve their own fears of aloneness, separation, and death – the ultimate separation. In their minds, they feel merged with their children, while in reality, they may not be fully present in their interactions with them. These parents cherish the feeling of being needed by the…

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Mindsight: The Unexpected Value of Getting to Know Yourself

…sing thoughts we all live with are what psychologist and author Dr. Robert Firestone refers to as the Critical Inner Voice. The Critical Inner Voice is created from experiences we had as children that caused us to turn against ourselves and develop negative self-perceptions. When left unchallenged, this inner critic can dictate our lives. A perfect illustration of this takes place in the classic film “Annie Hall.” When a young couple (Annie and Al…

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relationship fix

The Key to Healthy Relationships: It’s All in Your Head

…us we are deficient. Voice Therapy is a technique developed by Dr. Robert Firestone that encourages people to identify and combat this Critical Inner Voice. Whether it is telling us that we are stupid to trust anyone or that we are simply unlovable, the Critical Inner Voice is at the core of many of our relationship woes. By being more attentive to our thoughts and emotions (including the Critical Inner Voice), we are better able to be attuned to…

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Where Does Our Love Go?

…n and spontaneity. This process is what psychologist and author Dr. Robert Firestone describes as the “fantasy bond.” A fantasy bond is established when real love, respect and camaraderie is replaced by an illusion of connection; when the substance of the relationship is replaced by the form. Couples are rarely aware of this transition, they just find themselves one day wondering where their love has gone. To understand why a fantasy bond is forme…

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The Inner Voices Behind Violent Behavior

…iewing, and assessing violent individuals, along with my father Dr. Robert Firestone, I began to recognize certain “voices” (negative thought processes) that flood the minds of these individuals influencing them to engage in acts of violence. These “voices” aren’t experienced as hallucinations but rather are a systematic pattern of negative thoughts against to the self, and hostile and suspicious toward others. We call these destructive thoughts “…

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Improve Your Mood Instantly

…ghts, antithetical toward self and cynical toward others, which Dr. Robert Firestone refers to as the “critical inner voice.” I was left wondering when the subjects in the study were daydreaming, were they in fact absorbed in thoughts and “voices” that represented their anti-self? The critical inner voice undermines the ability to interpret events realistically, triggers negative moods, and sabotages the pursuit of satisfaction and joy in life. Th…

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Is Happiness Really Normal?

…s a defense against the inevitable pain of the human condition. Dr. Robert Firestone describes this condition in his blog “Life-Affirming Death Awareness:” Most people spend their lifetime without a great deal of self-awareness, living lives of emptiness and drudgery based on their early programming. They rarely reflect on their circumstances but rather are addicted to a lifestyle of form and routine. Few develop a life plan or project that gives…

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love and deception

Overcoming the Real Pain of Break Ups, Affairs and Rejections

…ave often observed what my father, psychologist and theorist Dr. Robert W. Firestone, refers to as the “critical inner voice” to be the chief culprit in making break ups and affairs a matter of humiliation. While one would never think badly of a friend (or film star) who had been hurt by a significant other, rarely do people maintain the same standards for themselves. Instead, when they are hurt, they start to have harsh attacking thoughts toward…

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All Hands on Deck: How We Can Help Someone Who’s Suicidal

…ves of a cruel, internalized enemy, what my father psychologist Dr. Robert Firestone has referred to as the “anti-self” or the “critical inner voice.” We all possess an “anti-self,” a self-destructive side that tells us we are worthless, undeserving, or even that we shouldn’t exist. We formed this anti-self out of negative early life experiences, painful or traumatic events, and destructive attitudes directed toward us that we internalized. This “…

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