…s in ways that are extremely self-punishing and negative,” said Dr. Robert Firestone, author of Overcoming the Destructive Inner Voice. He describes an “anti-self” or “critical inner voice” we all experience that acts like an internal judge. This voice is almost constantly assessing us, evaluating what we accomplish and how we’re perceived. This cruel inner critic not only tells us that we’re failing when we’re not, but it contributes to self-limi…
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…of “Voice Therapy,” developed by my father, psychologist and author Robert Firestone, involves putting your critical thoughts in the second-person (as “you” statements.) My friend tried this exercise herself with journaling. First, she wrote down her most shameful feelings in relation to herself as a parent. Rather than writing, “I am a terrible mother,” she wrote, “You are a terrible mother.” She proceeded with, “Your son will grow up hating you….
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…ides from “The Critical Inner Voice That Causes Depression” Here Watch Dr. Robert Firestone describe the Steps in Voice Therapy: Recommended Books See all Upcoming PsychAlive Webinars Learn about upcoming free and CE PsychAlive Webinars with leading experts in the field of psychology. Support PsychAlive.org and The Glendon Association in their mission to advance mental health by bringing psychological awareness and insights into everyd…
Learn More…Dr. Robert Firestone Dr. Carol Gilligan Dr. Dan Siegel Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn Dr. Kirk Schneider Dr. Lisa Firestone Dr. James Gilligan Dr. James Garbarino Dr. Pat Love Dr. Sheldon Solomon Dr. Donald Meichenbaum Dr. Donna Rockwell Dr. Daniel Zamir Dr. Christine Courtois Dr. Allan Schore Dr. Peter A. Levine…
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…ove, but living in love? The blog itself was based on my father Dr. Robert Firestone’s theory of the “fear of intimacy” and was heavily inspired by more than 30 years of examples of clients, co-workers, friends, family members and countless individuals I’ve encountered across the world who’ve opened up to me about their relationship struggles. Almost every one of us can relate to at least a couple of the ways we defend ourselves, self-protect and…
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…e… Read More Featured Webinar Challenging the Fantasy Bond Presenter: Lisa Firestone, Ph.D. Watch the Webinar SEE SLIDES FROM THE WEBINAR HERE [divider] Challenging the Fantasy Bond: New Book Now Available! This much-anticipated follow-up to the critically-acclaimed and bestselling The Fantasy Bond tackles the complex question of why so many of us are compelled to repeat the pain of our past while avoiding positive experiences that could… Lear…
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…and a critical, coaxing and destructive inner voice. My father Dr. Robert Firestone often refers to this internal enemy as an “anti-self” and the language of this enemy as the “critical inner voice.” Getting to know and challenge this “voice” is one of the most essential psychological hurdles we can overcome in striving to live our version of our best life. For our real self to win out over our anti-self, we have to understand how our inner voice…
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…ivalent toward relationships. As my father, psychologist and author Robert Firestone, wrote, “Most people have a fear of intimacy and at the same time are terrified of being alone.” This fear causes some people to resist closeness. A lot of people want someone up until the moment that someone wants them back, or they only start wanting a person when that person stops wanting them. For other people, fear makes them cling to their relationships. The…
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…A “fantasy bond” is a concept developed by my father, psychologist Robert Firestone. When a fantasy bond develops real acts of love and relating are gradually replaced by the form of being in a relationship. When two people rely on each other to feel whole, they lose themselves in the process, forgoing independence, and often attraction, in the interest of feeling safe as part of a united couple. Sadly, the way they treat each other starts to det…
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…se patterns, many of which are characteristic of what my father Dr. Robert Firestone terms a “fantasy bond,” an illusion of connection that replaces real relating and allows couples to overstep each other’s boundaries and function as a single unit. Genuine loving actions are replaced with the form and routine of being a couple. As we develop this type of bond and see the other person as an extension of ourselves, we’re more likely to act out contr…
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