Beware of the Soulmate Myth
…were excerpted from Daring to Love Reprinted with permission: New Harbinger Publications, Inc. Copyright 2018 by Tamsen and Robert Firestone, PhD…
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Overcoming the Real Pain of Break Ups, Affairs and Rejections
…e coming from within. In our book, Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships, Robert W. Firestone, Joyce Catlett and I discuss the feelings of humiliation and shame that sexual infidelity evokes in the “betrayed” party. We describe how their shame and humiliation are intensified in relation to others finding out about their partner’s affair and explain how these feelings may be traced to early childhood experiences of humiliation. We go on to explain…
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A New Slant on Vulnerability: Strength Not Weakness
…out it that way before. What exactly do you mean by the word “vulnerable”? Robert Firestone: It’s a complicated issue, but looking at it existentially, we only have one life to live. The essential idea is to live it as fully as possible, to experience all of your emotions, all your perceptions, all your thoughts, all your ideas. But when we’re damaged, we block out a lot of our potential to realize the fullness of our existence. Early in life, we…
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Improve Your Mood Instantly
…s of a good deal of their misery. Psychological Defenses in Everyday Life, Robert Firestone, PhD. I’m painting the room in a colorful way, And when my mind is wandering, There I will go. It is possible to combat this insidious “enemy within” by becoming aware of it. You can be alert to when your mood shifts from feeling optimistic or relaxed to feeling down or irritable, and you can look for how your voice is influencing your thoughts and feelings…
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The Key to Healthy Relationships: It’s All in Your Head
…tate, the mind, of the other. As we grow in our ability to know ourselves, we become receptive to knowing each other.” If we adopt this perspective, no longer will we seek out our ‘missing piece,’ but instead we will recognize our own value and what we have to offer to another person. Robert Firestone wrote, “Perhaps the single most important life affirming human quality is the ability to feel love-to feel compassion and empathy for and express ki…
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The Fear of Intimacy
…ationships and interfere with career success. The book also introduces Dr. Robert W. Firestone’s theory of the “fantasy bond,” a once-useful but now destructive form of self-parenting that jeopardizes meaningful attachments. Written in clear, jargon-free language, Fear of Intimacy helps couples identify and overcome the messages of the “critical inner voice,” an internalized point of view that negatively distorts our perception of ourselves and lo…
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Mindsight: The Unexpected Value of Getting to Know Yourself
…tain self-understanding that can help us put a halt to the harmful behaviors that impair our relationships. When we have insight into ourselves, we also form compassion and empathy for another person. We can uncover why we are the way we are, and become who we’ve always wanted to be. As Robert Firestone wrote, “Perhaps the single most important life affirming human quality is the ability to feel love — to feel compassion and empathy for and expres…
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The Over-Parenting Syndrome
…y in this scenario of family life. In their book Beyond Death Anxiety, Dr. Robert Firestone and Joyce Catlett explain how many parents envision family continuity as a form of symbolic immortality — a kind of living on through their sons and daughters and their grandchildren in an endless chain of biological attachment. In one sense, our children do represent a symbolic victory over death by perpetuating our identity into the future. This notion is…
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How Childhood Defenses Hurt Us As Adults
…our lifetime. However, we can also create what my father psychologist Dr. Robert Firestone termed a “Fantasy Bond” with our parents, an illusion of connection that aligns us with those who raise us and causes us to identify with them in ways that are negative as well as positive. As I’ve said before, no person is perfect. Even the best parents are only attuned to their children about 30 percent of the time. This is why, as adults, it is important…
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Death Anxiety
…tone’s Article on Factors that Increase or Suppress Death Anxiety Read Dr. Robert Firestone’s Article on Societal Defenses Against Death Anxiety References Florian, V., & Mikulincer, M. (2004). A multifaceted perspective on the existential meanings, manifestations, and consequences of the fear of personal death. In J. Greenberg, S. L. Koole, & T. Pyszczynski (Eds.), Handbook of experimental existential psychology (pp. 54—70). New York: Guilford. H…
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