…that hurt us but feel familiar, as if they’re part of our identity. As Dr. Firestone put it in his blog “How to Befriend Yourself:” The enemy within can be thought of as a negative identity. This negative identity is a byproduct of negative ways you were labeled as a child, the negative attitudes toward yourself that you incorporated from any mistreatment you were exposed to and the defensive strategies that you formed to cope with psychological p…
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…e essential tips adapted from the work of Dr. Firestone and her father Dr. Robert Firestone, author of The Fantasy Bond. See the person for who he or she is. We can’t really feel loved unless we’re being seen. And we can’t express love unless we’re really seeing someone else. True love has to be true. To love someone, we have to know them. A famous study by Arthur Aron listed a series of personal questions that can produce intimacy and closeness b…
Learn MoreAll of a sudden, does it seem like the topic of suicide is everywhere? Cornell’s recent rush of suicides and the suicidal Twitter messages reported by celebrities like Demi Moore and Nia Vardalos has caused an often secretive subject to flash brightly on the public radar. But suicide is not a new epidemic. Once every 16 minutes a person commits suicide in the United States and once every minute a suicide attempt is made. Though a certain style…
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…ith the pain that ensues. In her blog, “What’s Wrong with Infidelity?” Dr. Firestone went on to cite research that has shown unfaithful individuals are less likely to practice safe sex than people in open relationships. This act of deception thus poses both a physical and emotional threat to their partner. “Whatever their decision is regarding monogamy, if two people want their relationship to stay strong, they must strive to be open and truthful…
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…Watch Now: Daring to Love Move Beyond Fear of Intimacy, Embrace Vulnerability, and Create Lasting Connection Learn More or Order…
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…at your critical inner voice is telling you. One very helpful exercise Dr. Firestone recommends in Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice is to write down these “voices” or thoughts as “You” statements instead of “I” statements. i.e. “You’re so ugly” as opposed to “I’m so ugly.” “I’m useless; I always mess up” becomes “you’re useless; you always mess up.” This small-seeming alteration helps you to view the voice as an enemy and to see where it may have…
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…out it that way before. What exactly do you mean by the word “vulnerable”? Robert Firestone: It’s a complicated issue, but looking at it existentially, we only have one life to live. The essential idea is to live it as fully as possible, to experience all of your emotions, all your perceptions, all your thoughts, all your ideas. But when we’re damaged, we block out a lot of our potential to realize the fullness of our existence. Early in life, we…
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