I was once doing a radio show about our (my father, Dr. Robert Firestone, and my) work on the “critical inner voice,” a self-destructive thought process we all possess. The host started the show by talking about all the media attention on terrorism and the fear we, as a nation, were feeling following the attacks… Read more »
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Dr. James Gilligan on Love and the Soul Order PsychAlive’s DVD Interviews with Dr. James Gilligan: In this DVD, Dr. James Gilligan discusses the developmental roots of violence, such as the psychological effects of childhood neglect and dissociation. Drawing upon his wealth of experience working with violent adolescents and adults, Dr. Gilligan addresses implications for… Read more »
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Emotional hunger is not love. It is a strong emotional need caused by deprivation in childhood. It is a primitive condition of pain and longing which people often act out in a desperate attempt to fill a void or emptiness. This emptiness is related to the pain of aloneness and separateness and can never realistically… Read more »
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Anyone who has indulged in romantic comedies like When Harry Met Sally, As Good as it Gets, Moonstruck or pretty much anything starring Sandra Bullock knows the theme of opposites attracting and enemies becoming lovers. This theme has been around since the beginning of time; We see it in Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew and… Read more »
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Some of the most destructive behaviors, commonplace in relationships, are those that people act out in an attempt to ward off loving responses from their partner. In The Ethics of Interpersonal Relationships, I wrote about the dynamics underlying this phenomenon, explaining why we often punish the very person who appreciates and acknowledges us for our positive… Read more »
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There is a good, sound argument for how technology can bring two people together. Countless couples have now met, married, forged unions, and had children as a result of a dating website, a Facebook chat, or a bold text message. Technology has provided a new platform for millions of people to take that first step… Read more »
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Dr. Pat Love describes four basic actions to take that constitute a concrete offering of love and can, therefore, dramatically improve a couple relationship: There are really four things, let me just tell you, four things that every baby needs, every child needs, every adult needs. It’s just basic to homo sapiens, to the human… Read more »
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As children, we often form a fantasy of what real love looks like. Though we may paint a pretty picture in our minds, this fantasy isn’t necessarily built on the admirable qualities we truly desire in a partner. Instead, it may be based on gaps we hope to one day fill, mistakes we aim to… Read more »
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Long have poets and scholars, romantics and intellects, teenagers and grandparents pondered the question: What is love? Yet, as we repeatedly find ourselves in the same relationship pitfalls, broken-hearted or fervently re-seeking that initial spark, perhaps a more beneficial question is, what isn’t love? As much as we as a species are capable of involuntarily… Read more »
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