Most of us have experienced that pivotal peak of pain, anger or frustration in which we want to scream “I hate my life.” Yet, the feeling that a dark cloud has specifically settled over us and our experiences can feel pretty isolating. The truth is, no matter how singled out or overwhelmed we feel, and… Read more »
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We’ve all seen some version of this scene: the child at the playground, covered in ice cream, wearing a tiara. She’s surrounded by fun toys, fawning parents and other happily screaming kids. Yet, although her world appears to be exactly as she’d want it, she is beside herself sobbing in utter distress. My point here… Read more »
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What gives a person’s life meaning is as unique to that person as their fingerprint. In order to live your own life, you must begin to identify and prioritize the things in your life that are the most meaningful to you. It is essential that you ask yourself if you are truly living the life… Read more »
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I wouldn’t belong to a club that would have me. My boyfriend must be an idiot because he thinks I’m great. When faced with an opportunity to imagine what my partner is really meaning to convey, I always assume the intention is to put me down. Each response we make to the action of another… Read more »
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Love — kindness, affection, sensitive attunement, respect, companionship — is not only difficult to find, but is even more challenging for many people to accept and tolerate. In my work with individuals and couples, I have observed countless examples of people reacting angrily when loving responses were directed toward them. One man felt a flash… Read more »
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Fear is the primary enemy to becoming an adult. Psychological defenses that are limiting and to some extent dysfunctional are strengthened and intensified when people become anxious. Yet anxiety states are often reacted to subliminally and defenses are instituted and affect our behavior without conscious awareness. In that sense, you cannot approach your fear directly;… Read more »
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A person’s life is too often a repetition or reenactment of the past. Becoming your true self is a process that lasts throughout a lifetime. Our personalities are not set in stone by the time we drive off to college or even the day we head to retirement. It is always possible for a person… Read more »
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As parents, examples of ways we slip up with our kids occur almost every day. Take a typical scenario of butting heads with your seven-year-old over cleaning his room. At first, you nicely suggest he start tidying up his mess. When he ignores you, you demand, more insistently, that he start picking up his toys…. Read more »
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One mistake we make as parents is assuming that there is one way to parent that is better than all others. The reality is, there are countless methods of raising children, and many of them are perfectly healthy. Yet, no matter how many books we read, rules we make, or goals we set, there is… Read more »
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In my 25 years as a therapist, I’ve worked with countless couples facing a broad spectrum of challenges. Yet, despite the diversity between them in age, occupation, or origin, I’m amazed at the similarities in the patterns and pitfalls that couples fall into. When two people walk into my office and start discussing their relationship,… Read more »
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